(RECIPE AT THE BOTTOM OF OF THIS POST)
This Memorial Day, my friend St. Frick (not his real name), invited us to his house for a pool party. St. Frick is known for his ability to throw amazing parties (and his ability to shove five profane words into a sentence comprised of only three words. It’s a talent).
We knew we would be in for a good time and we knew the only logical answer was to tell him we would be there.
We arrived at his place and discovered he and some other friends were already in the pool. Judging by the various beer cans strewn about, they also appeared to have started the party without us (although I still contend a party doesn’t start until I arrive).
I immediately headed to the pool house to grab some libations and catch up with our friends. I opened the refrigerator and this is what I saw:
At first I thought they were sliced lemons, which would go nicely with my Grey Goose, but upon closer inspection I realized they weren’t lemons, but Jello shots in a lemon rind.
Is that what it’s called? A rind?
I was beside myself with joy.
I decided to try one of them immediately. After all, I didn’t want to be rude. I was his guest and I was raiding his fridge to see what free stuff I could find.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t do a Jello shot (or three)?
They were delicious. I decided to have a few more and bring them poolside for others to enjoy. They were refreshing and alcohol laden, which are two of my favorite things.
I grabbed a couple more and sat on the edge of the pool. It was like I was being healthy and eating fruit by the pool…if fruit was made of three parts gelatin and two parts vodka. (If it was, I would eat a lot more fruit).
What kind of person comes up with this idea? Obviously an awesome person. I just didn’t know who would be brilliant enough to come up with this recipe.
Normally, if I’m motivated enough to make Jello, it’s done in a dirty bowl with cracks at the bottom courtesy of the time one of my dogs used it as a chew toy.
Don’t judge. The bowl still works…just think twice about eating Jello when you come to my house…and watch for dog hair.
Do you see these amazing Jello shots? Look how perfectly sliced they are!
Upon closer inspection, I was amazed to discover there were no slices of skin on them, nor were there bloody lemon peels (or rinds. Are we calling them rinds?).
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m pretty sure I would slice a finger straight off if I was going to slice up these lemon Jello shots.
Naturally, it would be my husband’s finger I sliced, and not mine. After all, he would be the one holding the lemons while I sliced them.
After several Jello shots, a girl can’t be expected to hold the lemons steady.
Oh yeah, I may have forgotten to mention that when I make Jello shots I’m usually wasted on several of the shots by the time we get to the slicing portion of the recipe.
But everyone is like that, right?
As if these delicious gems of goodness weren’t already perfect, I realized there was another plus to them. They are environmentally friendly!
You know my love of animals and of this beautiful planet (which is made even more beautiful by the presence of Jake Gyllenhaal and Andrew Garfield).
So with this recipe I can load up on liquor without feeling guilty about the environment.
I don’t need to be worried about filling the landfill with little Jello shots cups (mostly because when I eat these I will be too blitzed to think straight).
Actually,I’m probably helping the environment by doing Jello shots this way. I am using biodegradable material for good use, while also supporting recycling.
I’m so considerate.
This is yet another way to give back to Mother Earth while drinking to excess. Who knew being an environmentalist would be so fun?
Does this mean I can stop shaving my arm pits?
Another bonus to these shots is that neighbors going through my trash (or just looking out their window to see me sprawled out on the lawn), won’t judge me for the large amount of plastic containers strewn about me and my body.
Rather, they will assume my drinking caught up with me and my liver finally gave out. This makes for a peaceful afternoon nap on the front lawn…the perfect way to spend a Saturday.
What’s that you say? Your neighbors don’t go through your trash? Sure.
Whatever. Keep telling yourself that, but do yourself a favor and go outside some night and see if your Us Weekly magazines are still in your trash can.
My guess is they’re not, as the nosy neighbor down the street wants to keep up with the Kardashians but can’t afford a magazine subscription (or cable…or the internet….those fricking Kardashians are everywhere).
So since I’m totally awesome and you guys are just dying to know how these Jello shots are made, I will tell you. It’s actually fairly easy. Here it goes:
1. Cut several lemons in half. (You can also uses oranges, limes or watermelons)
2. Scoop out the insides of each half lemon so it’s hollow. (I suggest dumping the insides of the lemon into a large container of Grey Goose and water.)
3. Make Jello as per the instructions. (If you are making this for a party that I will be attending, please multiply the alcohol content by two. Who am I kidding? Multiply it by three.)
4. Pour the liquid Jello into the halves, making sure not to overfill them.
5. Place the lemon halves in muffin pans to hold them upright.
6. Place the lemon halves in the refrigerator and allow the Jello to set.
7. Once the Jello is done, remove the lemon halves and slice the halves into smaller pieces.
Yes, it’s that easy. I know. Can you believe it?
And if you make this recipe, I will require you to bring over the equivalent of three whole lemons of Jello shots.
You didn’t think you were going to get this recipe entirely for free, did you?