I haven’t met you yet but I feel like I already know you. Your father and I have been anxiously awaiting your arrival and can’t wait to bring you home to be with your older iPhone brothers and sisters.
We’ve read all the literature on how to be the best iPhone 6 parents we can be and we’re hoping you’re a good addition to our home. We’re so happy to be bringing another Apple product into our family. You’ll feel right at home with your older siblings the iPods, the iPad and the other iPhones. We know you’re the newest edition and with that comes a change in how to handle you.
We’ve never had a phablet before, and the experts say that’s what you will be. We’re not exactly sure how to take care of a phablet, but we’re willing to learn, and our experience with your siblings has taught us what to expect with any new addition.
Will we be disappointed in you? Of course. We always are whenever a new Apple product comes out. We know it should be a happy time when a new addition graces our family but in the past, it’s been our experience that those first several weeks are usually a let-down.
Don’t get me wrong, we’ll still defend you to our other friends who aren’t cool enough to have a new iPhone 6 like you. We’ll rave about how wonderful you are and how you’ve practically replaced everything that matters in our lives. But deep down? Deep down we’ll know you were a disappointment.
In those first few months we will have to take you to experts fairly regularly. Even if you come into this world completely healthy, the chances are strong, based upon our experience with your siblings, that we will spend many hours standing in line waiting to see the guy or girl in the blue shirt. That person will look down on us for not understanding how to properly care for you, but that’s always how it is, so we won’t be overly shocked or offended. That person will also speak to us in a condescending tone as if we’re the ones who are experts in the care and operation of iPhones.
Once again, we will stand strong and ignore how we’re treated, all because we care about you and want you to be free of viruses.
We know that we will most certainly have to purchase insurance for you, as you will require many visits to the experts in the first few months of your existence. The insurance is ridiculously expensive but it’s necessary if we’re going to go out on a limb and add another sibling to our already large family.
We also know that we will probably be forced to get a newer version of you, thereby adding yet another sibling to the family. If experience is any guide, we’ll have to continue to expand our family due to the large amount of bugs and viruses that can take over a new device.
But for now we’re excited. We’re excited to see you and see what you can do for us. We know you’ll be a disappointment and will cost us a lot of money up-front, but we also know we can’t wait to get you, mostly because then we’ll look cool to all of our friends.
Looking forward to meeting you!
Your future parents