funny crap my husband says, October 2014 (2)Another month has passed and we find ourselves in February; the armpit of the calendar year.  No one likes February because it’s cold and dreary and we’re required to have a day of love and being mushy, and I can’t stand that.

Fortunately, I’ve got some real gems for you this month of funny crap my husband said when he wasn’t at all trying to be funny.

Fiscally Conservative

Lisa:  “We need to make a house for that stray cat to keep him warm in these cold temperatures.”
Matt:  “We can’t do that.  There’s no way we can afford a second mortgage.”

Know-It-All

Matt:  “I knew it! Hashtag knowledge bomb.  Hashtag watch the sky.”

DSC00347Medical Expert

Lisa:  “I have a horrible headache.”
Matt:  “It’s probably because it’s cold outside and the cold is causing pressure on your brain since it’s shrinking.”
Lisa:  “But if it’s shrinking, wouldn’t it be causing less pressure?”
Matt:  “I don’t know.  I just know that the cold sucks.”

Art Enthusiast

Matt:  “That shirt is really booby.  Can you put those away?  Unless…that art exhibit is going to become interactive…

DSC00428Government Operative

Lisa:  “Do you know what the Office of the Inspector General does?
Matt:  “Yes.”
Lisa:  “What does it do?”
Matt:  “Why don’t you look it up and then I’ll tell you if you’re right?”
Lisa:  “You don’t know, do you?”
Matt:  “Of course I do.  They inspect things….generally.”

Hipster Extraordinaire

Matt:  “Really?  Did you read about that in Hipster Weekly?  Or rather, it would be Hipster Every 27 Days.”

DSC01063Doctor Love

Lisa:  “I want to get lipo suction.”
Matt:  “No.  Do you know how many people die from lipo?”
Lisa:  “No.  How many?”
Matt:  “I don’t know, but it’s not zero.”

Rand McNally

Lisa:  “Do you know where Papua New Guinea is?”
Matt:  “It’s right next to Mama New Guinea.”

Enjoy those?  Which was your favorite?

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12 Thoughts on “Funny Crap My Husband Said, February 2015 Edition

  1. I gotta go with Dr Love….lmao. “I don’t know…but it’s not zero.”

  2. Me too, when I read, “It’s not zero,” I just went “Awwwwwww!”

  3. I love this, Lisa! You guys are funny stuff!
    Meredith just rambled about…The Night of Growing UpMy Profile

    • We often giggle like little girls! I swear we are really just little kids at heart, but if you can’t laugh with your spouse, who can you laugh with?

      Hope you are well! xoxo

  4. The art exhibit one sounds like something Alex would say!

  5. My favorite was “the cold sucks”. LOL These were great! Keep ’em coming, Lisa’s hubby!
    Linda Roy just rambled about…Montana Legislator Wants to Ban Yoga PantsMy Profile

  6. LOLLL!!!! @ that last one! hi-freaking-larious!
    Kola just rambled about…❼ Why Are You Helping Indians instead of Nigerians and Other Africans? (reader question)My Profile

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