Another month has passed and we find ourselves in February; the armpit of the calendar year. No one likes February because it’s cold and dreary and we’re required to have a day of love and being mushy, and I can’t stand that.
Fortunately, I’ve got some real gems for you this month of funny crap my husband said when he wasn’t at all trying to be funny.
Lisa: “We need to make a house for that stray cat to keep him warm in these cold temperatures.”
Matt: “We can’t do that. There’s no way we can afford a second mortgage.”
Matt: “I knew it! Hashtag knowledge bomb. Hashtag watch the sky.”
Lisa: “I have a horrible headache.”
Matt: “It’s probably because it’s cold outside and the cold is causing pressure on your brain since it’s shrinking.”
Lisa: “But if it’s shrinking, wouldn’t it be causing less pressure?”
Matt: “I don’t know. I just know that the cold sucks.”
Matt: “That shirt is really booby. Can you put those away? Unless…that art exhibit is going to become interactive…”
Lisa: “Do you know what the Office of the Inspector General does?
Lisa: “What does it do?”
Matt: “Why don’t you look it up and then I’ll tell you if you’re right?”
Lisa: “You don’t know, do you?”
Matt: “Of course I do. They inspect things….generally.”
Matt: “Really? Did you read about that in Hipster Weekly? Or rather, it would be Hipster Every 27 Days.”
Lisa: “I want to get lipo suction.”
Matt: “No. Do you know how many people die from lipo?”
Lisa: “No. How many?”
Matt: “I don’t know, but it’s not zero.”
Lisa: “Do you know where Papua New Guinea is?”
Matt: “It’s right next to Mama New Guinea.”
Enjoy those? Which was your favorite?