Add textYes readers.  It’s time for your favorite segment; the segment that keeps my blog alive because all of you love my husband almost as much as I love s’mores.

Almost.

For those of you not familiar with this segment, it’s a collection of funny crap my husband said throughout the month when he wasn’t at all trying to be funny.  I type them up in my phone after he says them and save them so I can recite them to you once a month and you can howl at his comments and secretly be jealous that I’m married to the funniest man ever.

So let’s get to it.

Neat Freak

Matt:  “This room is a mess.  It looks like your closet regurgitated everywhere.  Can you clean it up? I need you to unregurgitate….or gurgitate.”

Fairytale Lover

Lisa:  <Tells a story>  “It was horrible.”

Matt:  “Well, this story certainly isn’t any fun either.”

Easy To Please

Matt:  “Can I have a bottle of water?

Lisa: <hands bottle to Matt>

Matt:  “What’s this?”

Lisa: “It’s a bottle of water I opened this morning, took one drink, and put it back in the fridge.  It’s fine.

Matt:  “When I asked for a bottle of water, it was implied it was a fresh one and not someone’s leftovers.”

photo (6)Lover of Justice

Lisa: “I need to mail this check into the court for your speeding ticket but I can’t find the court’s address.”

Matt:  “Did you make the check out to ‘The Man’ and then mail it to ‘1111 Screwing Over John Q. Public Way?‘”

Forward Thinker

Matt:  “Saying ‘outside the box’ is the most ‘inside the box’ thing you can say.”

Lisa:  “Says who?”

Matt:  “Says me.”

Fair and Balanced

Lisa:  “Why do you get so angry about the dumbest things?”

Matt:  “I don’t get angry.  I just get judgmental.

Open Minded

Lisa:  “Where are we going for dinner?”

Matt:  “I don’t know.  You haven’t given me suggestions that I can shoot down yet.

Small Talker

Matt: “Can you believe these gas prices? It’s like ‘Hello 2005!‘”

at bar in new orleans

3 Thoughts on “Funny Crap My Husband Says: November 2014 Edition

  1. Love your hubby! You’re both so funny!
    My favorite this time:
    Matt: “Well, this story certainly isn’t any fun either.”
    Darcy Perdu (So Then Stories) just rambled about…Raising My Daughter to be a Stripper?My Profile

  2. Catherine on November 21, 2014 at 2:40 pm said:

    Awsome as always.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

Post Navigation