TheI despise exercise. (Hey, that rhymed!) Something about getting sweaty and out of breath just doesn’t appeal to me.  Those are the kind of activities that I usually get out of by claiming I have a headache or are having my “ladies’ days.”

Either way, I hate working out, which is evident as soon as you lay eyes on me, as my body is pretty much all mush and lots of guacamole.  Lots.

Zumba is a great way to lose weight, and it’s a lot of fun, if you think fun is bouncing around in a poorly ventilated room with a bunch of post-menopausal women and Gary, the creepy overweight guy who is at every class.  Every.  Fricking.  Class.

Some say running is best.  In my skinny days I ran and had a love/hate relationship with it.  I hated every second of the run but loved the loaded nachos that awaited me.  Now I prefer to skip the running and go straight to the nachos.

Aerobics is also another way to lose those extra pounds….if it was 1986.

The stationary bike is something many turn to in order to feel the burn.  Unfortunately, all I feel is the seat slowly riding up my a$$.  I really don’t want something shoved up there that’s been up many others before me.  I’m also just not that kind of girl.

What about an elliptal machine? That’s probably the best of all evils but it still requires me to go to the gym, and it smells like old man farts there so I prefer to stay away.  Those farts are probaly from Gary.

That leaves only one other option, and it’s the easiest of ways to exercise.  It requires no trips to the gym and no one will be around to judge you for just how hard you’re panting after 2 minutes.  It’s my exercise of choice, if I had to choose.  Of course, my favorite choice is to avoid it all together, but if I’m forced to try to fit into those ever-shrinking Pajama Jeans, sometimes it’s necessary to walk it off.

What is it?  Walking. It’s not hard and has the least chance of injury, so it’s a great choice for me.

Because you guys liked my Fat Girl’s Guide To Yoga so much, I decided to do a Fat Girl’s Guide to Walking.  Once again, it’s on a diagram so it requires minimal reading.  These tips are pure gold so enjoy.  And the best part of walking as a form of exercise?  You get to avoid Gary-farts.

Thefatgirlsguidetowalking (1)

Wanna know where else I’m on the web this week?  Here you go!

10 Signs You’re Pushing 40 And Don’t Give An Eff

5 Totally Superficial Things I’m Thankful For (Don’t Judge Me)

8 Things That Really Fricking Suck About Dating A Worry-Wart

 

6 Thoughts on “The Fat Girl’s Guide To Walking

  1. sue anello on November 30, 2014 at 5:05 pm said:

    Ha ha hee hee ho ho!!! Insoles in my slippers. Genius!!!

  2. Important question: Can M&Ms be substituted for the Skittles?
    Funny Is Family just rambled about…Crock Pot Thursday: Turkey StockMy Profile

  3. i definitely need the extra bras, keep those puppies from bouncing off my chest.

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