toilet paperThe other day I ran to Target for a few essentials.  (By “ran” I mean I drove my car and by “essentials” I mean lip gloss and at least 5 things from the accessory area.)

I somehow wandered into the section with the toilet paper, most likely because it was next to the end cap of a display of wine that was on sale.  I do love a bargain!

After filling my cart with enough reds and whites that an employee actually asked if I was having a party (to which I said yes), I figured I might as well pick up a package of toilet paper while I was there.  After all, I’d just saved a ton on wine and wanted to celebrate my victory with bathroom products.

I scouted the shelves for my favorite bear wiping his a$$ near an oak tree and realized I was in the section entitled “bathroom tissue.”  The words “toilet paper” were nowhere to be found.

What?!

Is “toilet paper” no longer PC?  I realize I’m not often on the forefront of knowing what’s PC, but I think I would have gotten that memo by now.

Perhaps it was written on a roll of toilet paper and I missed it.

Why the change, Charmin? Or Cottonelle? I’m not sure who’s the king of bathroom tissue these days or who officially made this change. Was this something the empire of toilet tissue voted on or was it done via an executive power by the angels from Angel Soft?

AESTHETICSRegardless of who changed the name, I’d like to know the reasoning behind it.  Was it a movement by the toilet paper companies to make themselves sound less crass?

Or maybe it was a different kind of movement…a movement that interestingly enough, requires bath tissue.

Or perhaps it was a movement by the stores to make themselves look more classy.  Signs for toilet paper don’t look nearly as welcoming as signs for bathroom tissue.  Perhaps it’s just a marketing ploy.  After all, bathroom tissue sounds like something I want to wrap myself in and curl up with a good book (and some wine I got on sale).

Is it really so bad to refer to toilet paper as what it is?  Paper that goes in the toilet?  That’s not crass.  It’s what it is.

I’m not sure what any of this means for the future of a$$ wiping, but I don’t like the direction its going.  If you ask me, it seems likes all going down the drain…

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Other places you can find me on the web this week

Forget Winning A Fight, And 9 Other Truths About Dating A Lawyer

I Hate Hugs!  Less Affection Is MORE And Here’s Why

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12 Thoughts on “Is Toilet Paper The F-Word Of Bathroom Tissue?

  1. In my house, Toilet Paper is our classier description of the products we use to wipe our a$$. Bathroom tissue is too open for interpretation. I keep a box of of “facial tissues” in the bathroom, calling toilet paper tissue is just one too many tissues for a single room.

    Although stuffing your bra with bathroom tissue would be classier than stuffing it with toilet paper.
    Vanessa D. just rambled about…Dogs, Purses, and The Poo-ShuffleMy Profile

    • You’re brilliant! I never thought about stuffing my bra with bathroom tissue. Nothing says classy quite like tits supplemented with tissue.

      Unfortunately, I’ve never had to stuff…I’m more the kind of girl who would like to remove some if possible.

  2. Lisa Newlin on October 19, 2014 at 9:10 pm said:

    I live in a place where you cannot buy wine at Target. F word.

  3. I can’t remember if there ever actually were signs in stores for toilet paper instead of bathroom tissue, but I’ll take your word for it. And, frankly, adult butt wipes are the only way to go–once you start using those there’s just no going back to using TP alone. I wonder what those are called…

    But, Lisa, we are living in a very civilized world now. What if the aisle signs start to say “Tampons” and “Sanitary Napkins” instead of “Feminine Protection?!” Or “Adult Diapers” instead of “Incontinence?” What if, like in the UK, we started calling restrooms or bathrooms “toilets” instead? What kind of world do you want to live in, anyway? 😉

  4. I’m okay with stores fancying up the ol’ TP by calling it “bathroom tissue”. What disturbs me is the toilet paper commercials on tv. Women walking into their friends’ recently renovated bathrooms and ending up on the floor fondling a roll of velvety 3-ply in ecstasy, bears scrutinizing each other’s bottoms for “little pieces”…there’s even one now where a woman takes a roll of the stuff speed dating with her.

    Maybe the stores are calling it “bathroom tissue” to distance themselves from all the commercials implying that people who use toilet paper are complete and utter WEIRDOS.
    Spoken Like A True Nut just rambled about…Convos with Cleverbot: Christmas Came Early This YearMy Profile

    • Weirdos indeed! Who would lay on the floor of a bathroom willingly? Even when I’ve been at my drunkest and wanted to die, I didn’t lay on a bathroom floor. I’m definitely not going to do it just because someone claims she has soft toilet paper. Who are these weirdos?

  5. Bog Roll – Loo Roll – Bum paper – Crapper Snapper or, at a push when being visited by the In-Laws, Toilet Roll — but never – NEVER – Bathroom Tissue.

    Unless you are so posh you actually have a box of tissues in your bathroom, because blowing your nose on Le Pappier Derrier would be just a little bit common – in which case it’s fine.

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