Dear iphone (2)Dear iPhone 6,

I haven’t met you yet but I feel like I already know you.  Your father and I have been anxiously awaiting your arrival and can’t wait to bring you home to be with your older iPhone brothers and sisters.

We’ve read all the literature on how to be the best iPhone 6 parents we can be and we’re hoping you’re a good addition to our home.  We’re so happy to be bringing another Apple product into our family.  You’ll feel right at home with your older siblings the iPods, the iPad and the other iPhones.  We know you’re the newest edition and with that comes a change in how to handle you.

We’ve never had a phablet before, and the experts say that’s what you will be.  We’re not exactly sure how to take care of a phablet, but we’re willing to learn, and our experience with your siblings has taught us what to expect with any new addition.

Will we be disappointed in you?  Of course.  We always are whenever a new Apple product comes out.  We know it should be a happy time when a new addition graces our family but in the past, it’s been our experience that those first several weeks are usually a let-down.

Don’t get me wrong, we’ll still defend you to our other friends who aren’t cool enough to have a new iPhone 6 like you.  We’ll rave about how wonderful you are and how you’ve practically replaced everything that matters in our lives.  But deep down?  Deep down we’ll know you were a disappointment.

In those first few months we will have to take you to experts fairly regularly.  Even if you come into this world completely healthy, the chances are strong, based upon our experience with your siblings, that we will spend many hours standing in line waiting to see the guy or girl in the blue shirt.  That person will look down on us for not understanding how to properly care for you, but that’s always how it is, so we won’t be overly shocked or offended.  That person will also speak to us in a condescending tone as if we’re the ones who are experts in the care and operation of iPhones.

Once again, we will stand strong and ignore how we’re treated, all because we care about you and want you to be free of viruses.

We know that we will most certainly have to purchase insurance for you, as you will require many visits to the experts in the first few months of your existence.  The insurance is ridiculously expensive but it’s necessary if we’re going to go out on a limb and add another sibling to our already large family.

We also know that we will probably be forced to get a newer version of you, thereby adding yet another sibling to the family.  If experience is any guide, we’ll have to continue to expand our family due to the large amount of bugs and viruses that can take over a new device.

But for now we’re excited.  We’re excited to see you and see what you can do for us. We know you’ll be a disappointment and will cost us a lot of money up-front, but we also know we can’t wait to get you, mostly because then we’ll look cool to all of our friends.

Looking forward to meeting you!


Your future parents

9 Thoughts on “A Letter To My Future iPhone 6

  1. You’ll have to pardon my iEnvy as I won’t be getting the 6 when it comes out. For financial reasons at this point. For the first time in the history of iAnything, I finally had the latest and greatest that they had to offer when I got myself and my son the 5S. Now everyone will have that new giant iPhone 6Plus and I will look sadly upon my 5S with shame and jealousy.

    On the other hand, I’ll be able to upgrade in February and hopefully by then all of the bugs and disappointment that you very accurately describe will hopefully have been all worked out.
    Eric just rambled about…I Will Remember (Repost)My Profile

  2. I feel the financial pain of being an iThings Lover as well but I have to say that I have never experienced bugs and virus’ on my iThings. Maybe because by the time I actually get the latest and greatest the issues have been worked out. I will probably get a I6Plus in a year. 🙁 I’m just happy that Uncle Steve knew just what we needed and when.
    Patte just rambled about…Why A Facebook Group is Better Than a Yard SaleMy Profile

  3. Hysterical… and so true
    Rachael just rambled about…Signs summer has left the buildingMy Profile

  4. My friggin’ 5S broke today after someone dropped it. I may have been that someone, but let’s not dwell on minor details. Anyway, my baby is fixed and we’re back in action. Oh, and I’m poor.
    WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion just rambled about…Oversharing: The Day I Had BallsMy Profile

  5. Ken Susman on September 12, 2014 at 6:09 pm said:

    Know how to avoid that problem? Android, baby. Android.

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