It’s Tinder Tuesday, which means another edition of mercilessly mocking someone on the dating site, Tinder. Here’s this week’s candidate.
I think we can all agree this guy works out and has a great body. We can also agree that the tattoo across his stomach looks like it says “dick.” I really hope it does.
I can’t make out what the rest of his tattoos are but it looks like the one on his upper arm is a paisley print, which probably goes well with his sleeveless t-shirts he wears to the gym. You know the ones—the ones he cuts the sleeves off himself and cuts a “v” in the collar so it looks like a Polo shirt.
Not. Fooling. Anybody.
He appears to be in his backyard, which I like to believe he calls his “oasis.” However, it doesn’t look like he’s much of a green thumb, as the hanging flower baskets are completely barren. Maybe he killed them just like he killed the ab machine at the gym this morning.
One thing we do know about him though; homeboy loves his lighthouses. It’s not like he just has one. He likes to surround himself with different colored lighthouses, perhaps as a reminder that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel of love…or that he’s afraid of the dark and lighthouses make great night lights.
Although he may not be great with potted plants, he appears to love animals—or at least plastic ones. From butterflies to pink flamingos, this guy likes his garden colorful, even if it can’t be with flowers.
His love of pinks doesn’t stop at those flamingos; it extends to the cushions on his porch swing as well. Of all the colors he could have selected, he chose a soft pink floral print…perhaps to match the pink flamingos.
Looking to his face we see that he has on both sunglasses and a hat. Obviously he’s worried about protecting his face from the sunshine, although he’s fine with the sun blasting his pecs.
That hat is…interesting. I’m disappointed it’s a different pattern of plaid than his shorts. I expected more from him, especially since he matched his cushions so nicely with his yard ornaments.
The only thing I can draw from the fact he’s wearing a hat that doesn’t match his shorts is that he’s wearing the hat for one reason; he’s bald.
The good news is, at least so says his bio, that you can grab a beverage with him and find out!
Wanna find me other places on the web this week?
Check out what should really be on your back-to-school shopping list. (Hint: Alcohol is one of the things.)
Wanna make your kids sign contracts to agree to do (and not do) things when they return to school? Here’s my prototype.