Why you shouldn't watch theEveryone is all a titter about the many “50 Shades of Grey” trailers and teasers.  People are getting their panties in a wad, and then promptly throwing them on the floor.

The trailers are intended to make us salivate for the new movie, but all some of them do do is remind us why we hate car commercials and bad song remakes.

Click here to see it.  Think twice.  Seriously.

The entire trailer is set to a version of “Wicked Game” that will make you want to poke your eyes out, which is just as good, because then you wouldn’t have to watch the rest of the teaser.

Most of it is varying shots of expensive items like watches and cars.  It looks like a commercial for cheap cologne where the horrible stench actually permeates your screen and punches you in the face.

Come to think of it, you deserve that punch if you continue watching this trailer for more than a minute.

In this specific trailer there are numerous close-up shots of a sports car, which makes you think it’s a car commercial, but then you realize those have more excitement than this trailer brings.

The few shots of the actors are often blurry, which is probably for the best, as they reveal absolutely nothing about the plot.

If I hadn’t subjected myself to reading this poorly written book, I’d have no idea what the movie was about.

Come to think of it, that’s probably why it’s done this way.  I don’t know how else they would convey “This book was pure sh*t” better than making a trailer promoting expensive items and luxury.

With that said, will I go see the movie?  Duh.


Where else I’m on the web this week

Want to see a real back-to-school shopping list that’s way more accurate?  This is what you should buy this year.

Robin Williams’ suicide inspired me to talk about the suicide attempt I’ve never discussed

Your favorite PSAs from the 90s!

A serious piece about the Michael Brown Shootings and Ferguson Riots