Can you believe it’s Tuesday again?  Fortunately, that means it’s time for another edition of  Tinder Tuesdays, where I take an actual photo from Tinder and mock it mercilessly.

This week is an…interesting photo.  I’m not sure how else to describe it, so I’ll just get to it.

Tinder Tuesday guy with snakeskin

What.  The.  Frick?

Let’s start by what is wrapped around his neck.  I want to say it’s a snake but I don’t think this guy is manly enough to have a snake that large.  If he does have a snake, it’s one he found in his herb garden.  He is currently housing the snake in a fish tank, feeding it fresh vegetables and garnishes.

He named the snake Roger.

So what is it exactly?  Something to sit on? Maybe he has hemorrhoids and needs to carry around an inflatable pillow, but he thinks this looks more manly.

It doesn’t.

Week 4 of Tinder TuesdaysAnd how about that two pack of abs?  What I love best about it is the fact that he’s sucking in…as if the focus of this photo is on his stomach.

Moving right along, let’s focus on that sweet prison tattoo on his bicep.  What exactly is that?  A carcass of an animal?  A steer?

Since I’m a fan of college football, I’m telling myself it’s the mascot of University of Texas.  Hook em horns.

Looking to the left of the photo it looks like he has a band-aid on his right bicep.  I’m not sure what caused his boo boo but I really hope it wasn’t a run-in with Roger.

Either way, I would have pegged him for a Pokemon band-aid kind of guy.  I’m a little disappointed.

I’m not sure where he’s posing for this photo but it looks like it’s right outside his grandma’s worn down trellis…the grandma who has been dead for 7 years.

I like to tell myself that belt buckle has her initials in her honor.

What do you see in this week’s Tinder Tuesday’s bachelor?  Discuss.

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Where else am I on the web this week?

If humans were more like dogs

A guide to packing for a weekend in Las Vegas

What your wedding vows really mean

Top 10 Excuses To Get Out Of Exercising

A helpful guide for North West for living with a horrible name

Keeping the “happy” in “Happy Birthday”

29 Thoughts on “Tinder Tuesdays: 4th Edition

  1. I see a hairy semi-rugged hairy man with thin hairy skin who cuts easily standing in front of Grandma’s lattice asking you to love him.
    Man I freaking love Tinder Tuesday.
    Joy Christi just rambled about…I Just Want To Know If I Killed HerMy Profile

  2. Nancy on July 22, 2014 at 10:13 pm said:

    I think the questionable object is a swing used to lure unsuspecting children. Yikes, so scary!

  3. I’m surprised by this week’s candidate…jus sayin’. xoxo!

  4. Diana b on July 23, 2014 at 10:33 am said:

    It sure seems like these men try too darn hard with the props and whatnot. beeeeeeeee yourself! But then what would we have so much fun with? Lisa , size down the arrows if you can. This is way too much fun!

    • I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I will see about sizing down the arrows next time. Doing the arrows and annotations are the hardest part about these posts!

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

  5. Hi, I’m a friend of Ashley’s and she asked that I share a tidbit of my online searches over the weekend. Within a 15 minute time span, I viewed a profile of a man in S&M garb and an erect penis. Two separate profiles. Cheers!

  6. This still doesn’t beat the sequined thong (or whatever that shiny was last week). I feel like it’s going to be very hard to top that, in my heart and mind. But I’m totally game to keep trying!
    qwertygirl just rambled about…Tiptoeing Toward TwitterMy Profile

    • I think you’re right about last week’s picture. It was perfection and will be hard to top. I’m game to keep trying though. It’s so fun looking at these pictures and making fun of them!

  7. Scarlett on July 23, 2014 at 1:15 pm said:

    I’m having a hard time finding the words…is that a bullstrap? Um…

  8. Christopher on July 23, 2014 at 2:07 pm said:

    What I find interesting is that, in my Pride (pause for Lisa to laugh), this specmen would be considered a “daddy” and therefore “hot”. Though I too find older, muscular men attractive (pause for the rest of you to get the Pride joke), this may not be one. Though, after further review, there are several pros. The hemorrhoid pillow can be repurposed as an…extra apparatus during those tender daddy moments. Who doesn’t love being hoisted up like an ’89 Buick and played with? The tattoo, to me says, “I have money. Not a lot and I’ll need you to pay for dinner, but I have $10.00 I found on the street. I can buy us ice cream…or the free lube packets.” The belt buckle takes the prize. It’s so multi functional. It’ll help remind his current conquest of his name (not that it matters but it’s nice to know for posterity). It can be used as a punishment device. I don’t know about you, but I love getting hit in the face with a large, gold plated metal device. I mean, who doesn’t?

    So crack open an ice cold natty light oh daddy of the Pride. We know you’ll give us the back of your hand and while saying we have a pretty mouth. Mr. Prison Tattoo, Daddy Guuuuuuuyyyyy.

  9. Is it a head/bodyshot for a movie audition? A western or action flick? I’m assuming he’s trying out for the guy that gets axed in scene 1.
    Foxy Wine Pocket just rambled about…8 Life Lessons from My GrandmaMy Profile

  10. Lisa. Seriously. Lisa.

    This post made me almost crap my pants laughing.

    I want you to send me pictures of weird Tinder dudes all day, every day.
    Sarah (est. 1975) just rambled about…fitted sheet tutorialMy Profile

    • Be careful what you ask for Sarah! There’s so many of these Tinder pictures that you can’t unsee.

      I’m glad you enjoyed this one. I have so much fun writing them so it’s nice to know they make people laugh!

  11. Ha! You got this guy pegged, for sure! Funny description!
    Darcy Perdu (So Then Stories) just rambled about…How to Make New “Friends” at a Lady Gaga Concert!My Profile

  12. Ladies of the world who are stuck finding their mate on these sites: I’m truly, truly sorry. I feel like I cheated snagging mine pre-Interweb. Lisa, what is your excuse? You’ve got a cute, funny man. And shingles in your eye! Why torture the good one?
    Ashley Fuchs just rambled about…A Portrait in Pain: the Migraine MontageMy Profile

  13. My favorite? The “bandaid for his boo boo.” I thought the thing on his arm was a bruise until you pointed out it was a tattoo. Also love the two-pack & sucked in gut.
    One Funny Motha just rambled about…TweetPeat Tuesday is BACK (only on Wednesday)My Profile

  14. Lisa, obviously that’s a tattoo of a scarab holding a musket.
    Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 just rambled about…Kids These DaysMy Profile

  15. Ah, Lisa, you are so good to us. The sacrifice to bring us these……beauties. (gag) Looking forward to the next!

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