fat girl's guide to yogaI’m not a fan of exercise.  Who is, really?  It’s a necessary part of life, but that doesn’t make it any less horrible.  When I was in high school and college I worked out all the time; so much so it was almost an addiction.  Sometime in law school I found a new addiction: Oreos.  And Doritos.  And pizza.  And Taco Bell.

Of course, I also discovered fat rolls.

I’ve gone back and forth with different workouts over the years but nothing has really stuck.  So I turned to the only option left. Yoga.

Yes, yoga.  At first I thought this would be a great workout because it meant I could sit down and call it exercise.  I also loved that I didn’t have to wear shoes.  I figured it couldn’t be that hard if it didn’t require footwear.

Obviously I was greatly mistaken.  After trying yoga several times I’ve decided that I hate it.  No.  I despise it.  I realize there are people who think it’s great, but there are also people in the world who don’t like cookie cake.  It takes all kinds of crazies to make the world go ’round.

Since I want to save my readers from the misery of downward dog, I’ve created a fat girl’s guide to yoga.  It’s pretty with pictures so it’s easy to read.  Yoga requires effort but following a guide on how to do yoga should be effortless.fatgirlsguidetoyoga (2)

I’m on the web other places this week!

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9 Thoughts on “The Fat Girl’s Guide To Yoga

  1. Gas X?! Now why didn’t I think of that? That should be a prerequisite for anyone taking yoga…especially if you’re over a ‘certain age’.
    Doreen@househoneys just rambled about…A ‘Day of Days’! The Wedding Photos Are Here!My Profile

  2. Will you pulllllease quit??? I’m trying to write a post, took a break to see what you’re writing about and found that I cannot quit laughing at your illustration. I tried yoga back in the mid-70s. Some college class where the instructor was one of those runners who got the “runner’s high” by Mile 5. I QUIT!!! For one thing, I hate my feet. I don’t like people looking or touching my feet. And I hate looking at other people’s feet. I can’t take the silence because I’m waiting for someone to squat and fart. I’m glad no one did because I would have fallen to the floor. Laughing so hard that no one would me able to stop me. I come from the Jane Fonda “feel the burn” era. I like hurting from exercise so I can complain all I want and look good at the same time.
    Arlene Poma just rambled about…Cheap Thrills at the 2014 California State FairMy Profile

  3. I do do yoga, have no fat rolls – and I LOVE this post! It made me laugh! Loved your visualization exercise, jeans pose, and time check in particular. Oh, and the gas one.
    I go to a tiny yoga class (max 4, and sometimes there’s 2 of us,) and the teacher is a friend of mine. So we do a fair bit of laughing. But I do find that there are days when I’m in the mood for it, and days when I’m watching the clock – which was why your ‘time check’ made me laugh. My favourite part is always the relaxation, when I get to lie down! But I do like how I feel afterwards, so even when I take break for a while, I keep going back for more yoga.
    You could try laughter yoga! I’ve never been to a class, but it does exist! 🙂
    Yvonne just rambled about…New Lucrative Genre of FictionMy Profile

  4. Love it.. I’m currently composing an Ode to Yoga after my doc told me that at the age of 42, I’ve grown 3/4 inch from practicing it. (aka I now stand up straighter). On the down side, I’ve spent 11 years planning my dinner while faking inner peace.

  5. I swear to God you are inside my head! I’ve watched yoga classes at the gym…hell, noooo. I can’t even balance on one foot, let alone bend over like a pretzel. I’d be too preoccupied by what I was going to eat for dinner to do the class anyway. Hysterical as always, Lisa!
    Marcia @ Menopausal Mother just rambled about…When The Trolls Come Out To PlayMy Profile

    • DO NOT DO YOGA! Stick with Zumba. It’s way more fun. Yoga is painful and soooo boring. You’re like me and need to be moving. Yoga is mostly horrible because it forces me to be still. Um….no.

  6. Marianne love on April 21, 2015 at 6:05 am said:

    So so funny you girls lovein it i must share with my daughters

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