Can you believe it’s Tuesday again?  Fortunately, that means it’s time for another edition of  Tinder Tuesdays, where I take an actual photo from Tinder and mock it mercilessly.

This week is an…interesting photo.  I’m not sure how else to describe it, so I’ll just get to it.

Tinder Tuesday guy with snakeskin

What.  The.  Frick?

Let’s start by what is wrapped around his neck.  I want to say it’s a snake but I don’t think this guy is manly enough to have a snake that large.  If he does have a snake, it’s one he found in his herb garden.  He is currently housing the snake in a fish tank, feeding it fresh vegetables and garnishes.

He named the snake Roger.

So what is it exactly?  Something to sit on? Maybe he has hemorrhoids and needs to carry around an inflatable pillow, but he thinks this looks more manly.

It doesn’t.

Week 4 of Tinder TuesdaysAnd how about that two pack of abs?  What I love best about it is the fact that he’s sucking in…as if the focus of this photo is on his stomach.

Moving right along, let’s focus on that sweet prison tattoo on his bicep.  What exactly is that?  A carcass of an animal?  A steer?

Since I’m a fan of college football, I’m telling myself it’s the mascot of University of Texas.  Hook em horns.

Looking to the left of the photo it looks like he has a band-aid on his right bicep.  I’m not sure what caused his boo boo but I really hope it wasn’t a run-in with Roger.

Either way, I would have pegged him for a Pokemon band-aid kind of guy.  I’m a little disappointed.

I’m not sure where he’s posing for this photo but it looks like it’s right outside his grandma’s worn down trellis…the grandma who has been dead for 7 years.

I like to tell myself that belt buckle has her initials in her honor.

What do you see in this week’s Tinder Tuesday’s bachelor?  Discuss.


Where else am I on the web this week?

If humans were more like dogs

A guide to packing for a weekend in Las Vegas

What your wedding vows really mean

Top 10 Excuses To Get Out Of Exercising

A helpful guide for North West for living with a horrible name

Keeping the “happy” in “Happy Birthday”