why keep up with kardashiansI’ll admit I frequently watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Granted, it’s usually when I’m sick, the remote is out of batteries, or I’m too dehydrated to get up and change the channel; but I watch it nonetheless.

Perhaps if I took vitamins, I’d stop getting sick and subjecting myself to such misery. (Kris Jenner is more painful than a sinus infection, and no amount of Day-Quil will make her better.)

Every season I tell myself The Kardashians won’t be renewed. Their show won’t come back, and I won’t have to listen to Kim whine about how no one pays attention to her, even though the paparazzi are always up her over-sized booty.

mark-33777_640Don’t worry. She complains about that too.

And yet, every season, another Kardashian show pops up. They’re like zits. No one likes them, they’re hard to get rid of, and they look better when slathered in at least one inch of makeup.

Thankfully though, zits don’t come with hair extensions and a camera crew.

So why do I watch the Kardashians? I don’t know, but it’s certainly not for the acting, or lack thereof. The only real performance is when Bruce Jenner pretends to be interested in anything the women do.

They could be cutting up bodies in the basement and selling the skin to make purses, but as long as Bruce can build his model airplanes, he’s fine.

However, the look on his face when he’s around them is always funny, most likely because it’s a blank and bored stare.

Come to think of it, that expression could just be the plastic surgery talking. For all we know, Bruce is raging with anger inside, but since he’s incapable of facial expressions, he suffers in silence.

And oh how he suffers.

Perhaps I watch the show for the sisterly love. I don’t have a sister, and although I tried to dress my brother up and make him wear lipstick, he wasn’t a convincing sister. He also didn’t look good in red lipstick, but that’s another post for another day.

Whatever the reason, I continue to come back for more. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. I probably am. After all, I’m a glutton for ice cream, and cake, and cookies, and then more ice cream.

I may not be sure why I watch, but there’s one thing I am sure about. Joan Jett was referring to the Kardashians when she sang “I Hate Myself for Loving You.”

6 Thoughts on “Why Do I Continue to Keep Up With The Kardashians?

  1. It’s the plastic surgery version of a train wreck. My son & I watched it for awhile and it was pretty fascinating that their lives are like that. They always talk in that monotone mall girl voice and Kim continues to be a big spoiled princess and noone can even call her out on it. My sisters would rip her apart. Which is what she needs, ONE person to tell her what an idiot she is. Except she married an even bigger douche, so she’s like a bigass snowball made of frozen douche rolling down America gaining speed.
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    • “like a bigass snowball made of frozen douche rolling down America gaining speed” THAT IS PURE POETRY MY FRIEND!

      And I agree that she married the one person in the world who is even more horrible than she is. What’s worse is they’re procreating.

  2. Gawd! I remember watching the Olympics when Bruce won all that GOLD. I remember his first wife. Good-looking children. Then I picked up a national magazine and saw him with a blended family and this woman named Kris. With all her children with names that began with a K. Even back then, I thought that was overkill. I don’t have sisters. I have two younger brothers. If I had a sister, I would make sure that she would have a miserable life. Why? Well, why should I share her with Daddy??? Anyway, when you have all these children, their wants and needs don’t get met. That’s why these women are such train wrecks. They are all fighting for attention, and they don’t care where they get it from. And instead of keeping it private and in the family, they are filmed. Not only that, they don’t seem to go away because they seem to be daily subjects on social media, print and even have written books. So all their flaws are blown up and shared with the world. Kris is the classic stage mother who lives through her children. I mean, she is trying to dress like them. Like, wearing a bikini for a photo spread to compete with Kim’s wedding? Really??? Kourtney is not married, but she keeps popping those babies with her sperm donor. Khloe married an addict–six months after meeting him. Now, she’s globe-hopping with some married rap guy. The youngest girls from the Bruce/Kris production are pretty girls and “models,” but they are destined to become like their mother and their half-sisters. Unhappy, whining, high maintenance women who attract weak men that they will use, abuse and dump. I don’t even have to watch their show because those women are everywhere. Since I’ve analyzed their behavior a long time ago, I can ignore them and the other unhappy women who aren’t rich and famous, and don’t make misery pay $$$. In real life, I don’t care to be around insecure women and their drama.
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    • You are SO right about them looking for attention. Honestly, I think Kris shouldn’t have been able to raise those two younger girls based upon her “rearing” of the others. They all have sex tapes and are basically famous because they’re idiots and hoe-bags.

      Those teenagers look like prostitutes and I can’t imagine they have any intelligence. No wonder other countries hate us. It’s people like that who are our ambassadors.

  3. The Kardashians are a boil on the butt of humanity. That’s all I got.

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