I’ll admit I frequently watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Granted, it’s usually when I’m sick, the remote is out of batteries, or I’m too dehydrated to get up and change the channel; but I watch it nonetheless.
Perhaps if I took vitamins, I’d stop getting sick and subjecting myself to such misery. (Kris Jenner is more painful than a sinus infection, and no amount of Day-Quil will make her better.)
Every season I tell myself The Kardashians won’t be renewed. Their show won’t come back, and I won’t have to listen to Kim whine about how no one pays attention to her, even though the paparazzi are always up her over-sized booty.
And yet, every season, another Kardashian show pops up. They’re like zits. No one likes them, they’re hard to get rid of, and they look better when slathered in at least one inch of makeup.
Thankfully though, zits don’t come with hair extensions and a camera crew.
So why do I watch the Kardashians? I don’t know, but it’s certainly not for the acting, or lack thereof. The only real performance is when Bruce Jenner pretends to be interested in anything the women do.
They could be cutting up bodies in the basement and selling the skin to make purses, but as long as Bruce can build his model airplanes, he’s fine.
However, the look on his face when he’s around them is always funny, most likely because it’s a blank and bored stare.
Come to think of it, that expression could just be the plastic surgery talking. For all we know, Bruce is raging with anger inside, but since he’s incapable of facial expressions, he suffers in silence.
And oh how he suffers.
Perhaps I watch the show for the sisterly love. I don’t have a sister, and although I tried to dress my brother up and make him wear lipstick, he wasn’t a convincing sister. He also didn’t look good in red lipstick, but that’s another post for another day.
Whatever the reason, I continue to come back for more. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment. I probably am. After all, I’m a glutton for ice cream, and cake, and cookies, and then more ice cream.
I may not be sure why I watch, but there’s one thing I am sure about. Joan Jett was referring to the Kardashians when she sang “I Hate Myself for Loving You.”