Matt and Lisa with Empire state building in backgroundIt’s that time again. Time for another edition of “Funny crap my husband says.”

Once again, I’m amazed at the ridiculous things my husband says, although I’m more amazed that he never realizes it’s ridiculous until after I point it out.

Here they are.  Enjoy.  And remember that I’m the lucky one who gets to be married to this guy.

You = jealous.


Matt:  “Are you coming to the potluck?  I told them we’d bring a ham.”

Lisa:  “You volunteered me to make a ham?!  I don’t have time to do that.”

Matt:  “Oh, then you shouldn’t come.  People are going to be pissed when they realize you didn’t make a ham.”

001 - CopyFoodie

Matt:  “Do you know what’s in falafel?”

Lisa:  “Yes.  They’re delicious.”

Matt:  “I had no idea they were fried chick peas.”

Lisa:  “What did you think falafel was?”

Matt:  “I thought it was a waffely sandwich.  Come to think of it, that also sounds delicious.”

Medical mystery

Matt:  “I have a weird thing on the top of my mouth.”

Lisa:  “What is it?”

Matt:  “I don’t know.  That’s why I called it a ‘weird thing’ and not a ‘such and such.'”


Flight attendant:  “Let’s give our military on the plane a round of applause for all they do.”


Matt:  “I clapped longer than anyone else.  That means I care more about the troops than everyone else.  Obvy.”


Lisa:  “Didn’t we say ‘with this ring I thee wed?'”

Matt:  “I don’t know.” <whispers> “I was lost in your eyes.”

Copyright Maggie Stolzberg 2010.  Used with permission.

Copyright Maggie Stolzberg 2010. Used with permission.

28 Thoughts on “Funny crap my husband says: January 2014 edition

  1. I think your husband is adorable!

  2. toby lyn on January 23, 2014 at 1:37 am said:

    this is perfect ❤

  3. I always imagined falafel as a waffly sandwich, too. I just googled it and I could not have been more surprised by those pictures!
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  4. Thanks for laughs this morning. It has kinda been a weird twlight zone kinda morning.

  5. “Oh, then you shouldn’t come. People are going to be pissed when they realize you didn’t make a ham.”

    GIRL. How did we end up married to the same person?
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  6. LOL!! I always enjoy reading the funny things your husband says and these are no exception.

    Waffley sandwich. Bwahaha.
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  7. Now I totally want a waffely sandwich–that does sound delicious. He’s a catch for sure!
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  8. What a charmer. As with most men, it’s hard to tell if he’s incredibly brilliant or a complete moron.
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  9. Don’t ya just love when they volunteer you for things? I loved this post – especially the ham part and his response. Sounds like something my own hubby would say. 🙂
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  10. That last bit was definitely sweet. A load of malarkey, but sweet malarkey.
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  11. A whole ham for the potluck? I hope you didn’t go! 🙂
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  12. I do love this series of posts. Scary that your conversations sound so much like ours though!
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    • These are everyone’s favorite posts and they’re so easy to write because I keep track of most of them as I go!

      Honestly, if you and your husband say stuff like this then your marriage is probably filled with the same laughter ours is. It’s so fun to be married to your best friend.

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