photo credit: Gage Skidmore via photopin cc

photo credit: Gage Skidmore via photopin cc

I just finished watching the entire series of “Breaking Bad.”  Coincidentally, I also began my life-long love of all things that are Aaron Paul.

The two are most definitely related.

Aaron Paul plays one of the main “Breaking Bad” characters, Jesse Pinkman.  Jesse is an aimless druggie who can’t find his way to anything other than a one-hitter box.  Although, I’m sure he could find himself to another kind of box..if you know what I’m saying. <wink wink.>

Yes, that was a crass joke.  I’m writing a post about why a guy who plays a drug dealer is an ideal boyfriend.  I’m not sure why you’d be surprised with a little play on the word “box.”

With every season of “Breaking Bad,” my love for Aaron Paul grew.  The show was amazing and brilliant, as were the double entendres I made during each episode.  Some of those were just downright fantastic.

photo credit: Gage Skidmore via photopin <a

photo credit: Gage Skidmore via photopin <a

What drew me back to the show each time was not only the plot twists, but the amazingly attractive meth-cook, Jesse Pinkman (played by Aaron Paul).

What is it about him that makes him so dreamy? It’s not just that he’s extremely good looking.  That helps, although that’s not the only reason I’d buy whatever Aaron was selling…even if it was blue crystal meth.

It’s that he has so many other qualities that make him so appealing.

He plays a bad boy, which isn’t something I’m normally into, but I found myself wanting to be bad just because it felt so good.

For those reasons, I made a list of why Aaron Paul would be the perfect boyfriend.  One glance at him tells you he’s crazy good looking, so that’s not even going to make the list of reasons he’s perfect.  Duh.  That’s too obvious.

1.  He’s supportive

http://instagram.com/p/etMqL9uIDT/

http://instagram.com/p/etMqL9uIDT/

There are so many times over the years he has yelled out “Yeah, bitch!”  In fact, when the show won the Golden Globe in 2014 for Best Drama, he accepted the award by yelling this endearing phrase.

What better way to support someone than to yell “Yeah bitch!” when they do something great?

Empty the dishwasher?  “Yeah bitch!

Get a promotion?  “Yeah bitch!

Want to order pizza for dinner instead of cooking?  “Yeah bitch!

Are you sensing a theme?  You should.  It’s support.

2.  He’s a good cook

is the perfect boyfriendI can’t say this for sure, but the meth addicts seem to think he makes good $hit, and I hear they’re pretty picky when it comes to their smack.

He’s also meticulous about having his cooking utensils cleaned properly, which is good, as mama likes a clean kitchen.

I’m not sure if his specialty is just moon juice, or if  he has other signature dishes, but I’d be willing to find out.

That guy knows his way around a kitchen, and by “kitchen” I mean “my lady parts.”

I’d let him heat things up any day.

3.  He’s good with kids

Aaron Paul with baby

http://youtu.be/Hq-gl0N3kxY

Look at how happy he is with this kid…and it’s a kid he doesn’t even know!  I can only imagine how he would nuzzle a kid when it was his own.  (I can also imagine how he would nuzzle me to make that kid.  I imagine that a lot.)

Not only does he seem comfortable around the kid, the kid seems comfortable around him as well. The kid is practically burying itself into his face.

Actually, I would do the same thing. That beard is just asking for nuzzling.

I’ve never wanted kids but I’d be willing to have them if they were with Aaron Paul.  I think we would have to start trying immediately. We’d practice a lot.

4.  He looks good in a uniform

photo credit: InstantColor via photopin cc

photo credit: InstantColor via photopin cc

Everyone loves a man in uniform, and once again, Aaron Paul delivers.

No one wears a haz-mat suit quite like he does.  Look at the way that yellow makes his face glisten.  He’s positively radiant.

And what else?  HE’S HOLDING A DIFFERENT FRICKING BABY!  (See #3 above for why that’s so awesome).

I never thought haz-mat suits were sexy until Aaron Paul came along.  Why would I?  How many times do you look at your local sewer worker knee-high in waste and think “I’d like to rip that suit off of him and get him really dirty.”

Hopefully not often, but if you do, I’m not here to judge.

Now, however, I see that yellow haz-mat suit in a whole new light…and it’s not just light from the radioactive materials.

5.  He smells really good

photo credit: gdcgraphics via photopin cc

photo credit: gdcgraphics via photopin cc

Okay, I don’t know about this one, but I’d love to find out personally.  (HINT: Aaron Paul….let me sniff you.)  He just looks like someone who would smell good.  Right?

I imagine he smells like a forest on a spring day, with just the right mix of pine needles, musk, and Axe body spray.  I’ve tried to recreate the smell with car air fresheners, but I haven’t been able to get it just right.

Maybe I should get the air fresheners from Walt’s car wash.  They probably have a Pinkman scent.  I bet it would be in the shape of a beaker.

I could go on with more reasons why Aaron Paul would be the best boyfriend ever, but I don’t want to convince any of you to go after him.  He’s mine, so hands off.

And what about the fact I’m already married?  No worries.  Matt is cool with my relationship with Aaron Paul, as he knows love knows no bounds (or in the case, it knows nothing based in reality).

Pssst!  Aaron!  Call me.