NKOTB is breaking my H-E-A-R-T
I’ve always loved New Kids On The Block (or NKOTB for those of you into abbreviations). But then again, who doesn’t?
An all American boy band who wears t-shirts with cartoon strips and Bill Cosby inspired sweaters? <swoon>
Five boys who know how to hit a high C like they’re making sweet love to it? <swoon again>
Throw in some lightly feathered mullets and the dream weavers perched on a precariously low traffic light only to randomly pose for a photo? ———>
The album cover on the right is my favorite, and not just because it highlights the fact Jordan has enough eyebrow hair to weave a blanket for the homeless. That’s just an added bonus.
Rather, this cover perfectly captures why I break for NKOTB. I mean, what’s not to love about this?! (Aside from Joey McIntyre’s high waisted mom jeans. Really Jo Jo?)
This photo demands respect. I challenge anyone not to give props to Donnie with that sassy hand on his hip. Those geometric patterns on his sweet cotton sweater says he’s good in art class but he also knows how to unhook a girl’s training bra with the flip of his Swatch-adorned arm.
Let’s not forget about Jordan. In this picture he looks like he was being goosed by someone passing by. Perhaps he was. If so, it was most likely a pedestrian who actually wanted to use the traffic signal to cross the street and didn’t appreciate 5 pubescent boys mounting it for the camera.
What about Jonathan Knight? He barely made it into the photo, but that’s okay. His boldly striped t-shirt/sweatshirt combo made him halfway visible, which is all he ever wanted.
The biggest question I have about this cover, aside from why the police didn’t shut down the photo shoot that was undoubtedly interfering with traffic, is why Danny in the center of this photo.
That’s one mystery I’ve never solved, and I’ve spent countless hours
drooling staring at this cassette tape.
This album cover is what made me first fall in love with these wacky kids, and 25 years later, I still want to kick it with the New Kids. If only I could. As one of the greatest bands of all time, NKOTB still knows how to put a skip in my step and a throb in my loins. (Well, all of them but Danny.)
Naturally, when I found out there was a NKOTB cruise, I knew I had to get in on it. Or just physically get on it. On the boat. Not on the guys. (Unless they’re into that sort of thing.)
Unfortunately, my dream of sailing the high seas while hitting high Cs (and drinking Hi-C) was not to be. Cruising with the New Kids sold out in 3 minutes flat, and I’m not talking about a B flat.
Sadly, I wasn’t one of the lucky girls to get a ticket. I can’t say I’m not devastated. I could, but I’d be lying.
What was so perfect about the cruise was it was in “Summertime” which is my favorite time of year. That, coupled with the fact those boys have “The Right Stuff” to get a “Block Party” going, makes me a sad girl.
I guess I shouldn’t be too upset about missing it. I’m sure it’s just a bunch of “Cover Girl“(s) going, and I don’t want to be a part of that.
However, I’m considering approaching one of the lucky ticket holders and asking her to sell me her ticket. Maybe I should be upfront and just ask her to “Please Don’t Go Girl.” Who knows? It might work. Stranger things have happened.
After all, Danny got married.
I’ve always been such a super fan of theirs, and I’ve supported their entire career. ”Didn’t I?” I know if I went on the cruise they’d “Treat Me Right” and we’d have a great time. I’m probably even become their “Favorite Girl.”
Maybe they’ll have another cruise and I can get tickets for that one. I will remain optimistic.
Until then, I will take it “Step by Step” and stay “Hangin’ Tough” until the new cruise date is announced. I’m hoping I can go the next time around, as “I like the remix (baby).”
I’m sad I can’t go, but “Whatcha Gonna Do About It?”
To my dearest New Kids, please plan another cruise. I promise “I’ll Be Loving You (Forever).”