Matt and Lisa on the trail

Before we got too sweaty from our hike.

My husband and I are in Seattle for a mini vacation. He was smart enough to know my head would explode if I remained in the bowels of St. Louis much longer, so he planned this trip.  I suspect it’s because he knows I love Starbucks and Frasier, both of which are located here.

So far, I haven’t found Frasier’s apartment, but we still have a few more days.  (Now that I’m in Seattle, I really do hear the blues a callin’, tossed salad and scrambled eggs.)

Since we are lazy and getting fat from all the food and alcohol nature lovers, we decided to go for a hike on one of the many trails in Seattle.  I scoured the internet for the easiest trail I could find and off we went in our sweet rental car.

Did I upgrade to the 2013 Hyundai Elantra because I’m a baller?  Yes, yes I did.

While on the hike, my husband gave some great insight into the sights and sounds around us.  It started when we came upon this lovely old shack.

The B52s were nowhere to be found.

The B52s were nowhere to be found.

Instead of commenting on the beauty of the building, my husband commented on it by stating “And that’s where the rapes happen.  It’s like the love shack, but a lot darker.”

I will never be able to listen to that song again.

After I recovered from his…ahem…insightful comment, we continued the walk and found a small waterfall where we stopped to take a photo.  As we were leaving, we noticed a beautiful bench carved out of wood.

Walking up to admire the handiwork, my husband saw this and made the following comment:

This is why we need to continue teaching cursive in schools.

This is why we need to continue teaching cursive in schools.

That Daniel is a real dick.”

Yes, yes he is.

We then proceeded to continue down the trail where I ultimately had to water some of the plants in the woods.  I’m such a humanitarian.  That has nothing to do with the story, but I felt compelled to share it with you.

Sidenote:  Don’t slam two bottles of water and a Starbucks coffee before going on a nature walk.

As we continued on our hike, my dear husband commented on the beauty of the trees.  “Isn’t it cool how the trees are so tall and go up and then umbrella out with branches at the top?

Look at that umbrella.

Look at that umbrella.

That’s called a canopy,” I responded, offering him a nugget of knowledge.

I didn’t ask for a f@#$ing nature lesson,” he smirked.


Look at that face: nothing but insight.

Look at that face: nothing but insight.

We continued on our walk, discussing what to do during our remaining days in the rainy city.  He suggested taking a ferry boat up to Vancouver.

I reminded him we couldn’t do that because we didn’t bring our passports.  Much like his insightful comment on Boise, Idaho, he responded with this gem:

I don’t think you need a passport to go to Canada.  It’s Canada.  It’s not a real country.  Plus, we’re taking a ferry.”

I wasn’t able to get out of him why the mode of transportation into a new country mattered, but apparently it did, at least to Matt Newlin.

The hike was several miles but after about 2 miles we were bored and sick of hiking so overwhelmed with nature we needed a break…and a margarita.

We learned a lot that day.  Matt learned tree terminology and I learned never to go into a dark shack with my husband or with a guy named Daniel.  He’s a dick.


10 Thoughts on “Some thoughts on nature from Matt Newlin

  1. Lucky you. If that was me hiking after Starbucks, I’d need to fertilize those plants.

    Also, you didn’t need a passport for Canada until a couple of years ago. Now you do.

    Also also, FUCK Daniel.
    Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 just rambled about…New York, Part FourMy Profile

  2. I didn’t ask for a f###ing nature lesson! Lol. If my hubs had made that comment, he would have gone home wearing a canopy :).

  3. I knew a Daniel once… he was a dick, so Matt’s logic is infallible.

    Also, that shack is obviously a rape shack. There is no other purpose that it could possibly serve.

    The lesson learned here? We should all go hiking with Matt Newlin.
    Emelie just rambled about…The Guy Was Probably Just Impressed with/Jealous of My Old Lady Impression.My Profile

  4. You two as a couple have a level of funny that I will never know. I’m sure if I hung out with you both, I’d be in the hospital doped on my morphine after busting open my diaphragm.
    Julie DeNeen just rambled about…Who’s Gonna Take Care of Me?My Profile

  5. Abandoned shacks would freak me out a little bit, but now that song is ruined. He doesn’t need a nature lesson? I might have a little fun with that.
    Michelle just rambled about…Use Your Influence to Make Money Blogging — with SverveMy Profile

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