Isn't he cute?

Isn’t he cute?

My husband and I recently decided to test the bounds of our relationship:  We took on a home improvement project.

When we bought our house, the guest bedroom was a shade of baby blue that no baby has ever been able to successfully rock.

Unfortunately, we were too tired from bossing the moving men around to paint the room back then, but we figured we’d get to it later.

***Enter five years later***

A few weeks ago we decided to take on this painting project.

Maybe we were incapacitated, or maybe we were just stupid, but either way, we decided to paint the room and roll the dice on if our marriage would survive.

Cleaning before painting.  Even though paint wasn't opened at this point, it was still crucial he wore the HazMat suit.

Cleaning before painting. Even though paint hasn’t been opened at this point, it’s crucial to wear the HazMat suit.

SIDE NOTE:  Home Depot and Lowe’s should add a complimentary divorce kit to any home improvement project purchase over $200.  It would be an excellent service to their customers.

Fortunately, our marriage (and our walls) survived painting and redoing our bedroom.

Of course, my husband said a few funny things throughout the day that helped get me through.

Smelling paint thinner also helped.


Idea Man

The kids are using Pinterest these days.  They tell me there’s good stuff on there.”


Pin it!

Inspirational Speaker

We haven’t made any mistake that can’t be fixed.”


Well, that can’t be fixed!

Doesn't it look like he's not wearing shorts under his painting suit?  He is, but still...

Doesn’t it look like he’s not wearing shorts under his painting suit? He is, but still…

The Musician

Lisa:  “I have California Girls in my head.”

Matt:  “Crap.  Now I do too. Wait, which one?  Katy Perry or the Beach Boys version?  I want to be on the same page.”

The Martyr

Matt:  “I’m tired and hungry.”

Lisa:  “Poor baby.  How do you do it?  How do you forge ahead when things are this difficult?

Matt:  “One day at a time…<sighs and hold head down> One day at a time…

Wealth of Knowledge

Matt:  “There was an interesting article the other day about how people are able to walk across hot coals.”

Lisa:  “How do they do it?

Matt:  “I don’t know.  I didn’t read the article.”

The Fashionista

Lisa:  “You can’t wear your Chuck Taylors while you paint.”

Matt:  “I can wear my Chuck Taylors and do anything.”

Can you believe he chose the Chuck Taylor's that most closely matched his outfit?

Can you believe he chose the Chuck Taylor’s that most closely matched his outfit?

30 Thoughts on “Funny Things My Husband Said While Painting Our Guest Room

  1. I read and love all your stuff Lisa, even though I don’t always comment. Today however, I can so relate, and had to share. My Facebook post not 30 minutes ago: “One should never paint oneself. And by that I mean, one should hire someone to paint for them. In my case however, since I can’t afford to do that, and I am obviously devoid of talent in that area, and in spite of the fact that my efforts are directed at an inanimate object on the wall, I find that this one (me) is in fact, painting oneself (me again). Abstractly and splatteringly, but painted nonetheless.” Cabinet on the wall in my office, almost done. The things I said are not fit for print =)

    • THANK YOU for telling me you love and read my stuff! That makes me so happy and I appreciate it so much!

      WHY DID YOU PAINT BY YOURSELF?! You call me and we will do a team effort. It might not end well but at least we would laugh!

  2. Looks like he’s sportin’ a wedgie there!!

  3. Wow. Where are the blood, sweat and tears? Why didn’t anyone storm off in a huff to take a nap? I don’t even understand your relationship.

  4. I LOVE his comment about the article on walking over hot coals. So classic that he didn’t read it!
    Darcy Perdu just rambled about…Um…Is She HITTING on Me?My Profile

  5. Your husband has got to be one of the most entertaining males on the internets. And he does an excellent job of matching his shoes to his paintin clothes=bonus points! 😀
    Sarah Almond just rambled about…Weekly Wrap-Up: The Melty EditionMy Profile

  6. JaneEllen on August 31, 2013 at 11:51 pm said:

    I love reading blogs when blogger has sense of humor. Ah what a treat. I have been waiting since we bought this place to get it painted. That was July, 2006, yup. He did paint the bathrooms but maybe it would have been better if he hadn’t. Not such a great job. On the baseboards? Yikes.
    I got mad at something else about 4 yrs ago so got paint out and started on a partial wall between kitchen and living room. It was just a sample pot so when paint rain out I quit. It’s never been finished and now I’ve changed my color choices. We have the paint, I’ve been saving it up when Ace hardware gave away pint cans of paint. I might have enough to do the living room anyway. I’ll have to get more paint since the hall walls come into l/r.
    Oh and one of hubs choice comments is” why does it need to be done.?” We have vinyl stuff on the walls as it’s an older mfg. home. The choices made by original owner are not mine, eeeekkkk.
    I’m not going to ask hubs to paint with me but can almost bet he’ll take over when I start, he’s like that, since he thinks I can’t paint right. Whatever. About that divorce kit from the paint stores? Hope you’re having a great weekend.

    • What an awesome comment! Thanks for being so supportive of my blog. I feel like I should mourn your baseboards though.

      And we painted our bedroom the next week and did an accent wall and used the free pint of paint from Ace! It was awesome!

  7. So, don’t leave us in suspense! Which version of California Girls was it?
    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous just rambled about…I hope my neighbour realises I wasn’t hitting on him…My Profile

  8. Wow! I love all of your posts Lisa, they are all very funny and entertaining, please, please, PLEASE write lots more, I just simply can’t stop reading them, you really know how to put a good blog together as others from other websites that I have read are really REALLY boring :0 But then when I see yours, I get really stuck into them and sit down with a cup of tea and they all make me laugh out loud hysterically as you sometimes put serious bits in and then by throwing in some great humour!!!!! You have got a very imaginative and creative personality 😉

    • Aw, thanks Lydia for these super sweet comments! They actually made my day. I never know if people get where I’m coming from and I love that you do. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to know I bring laughter to your day, and to know you can look to me for that. THANK YOU!

  9. It was probably the normal version 🙂

  10. Love it! I too share things my husband says to me because they are priceless. I’m glad your marriage survived this DIY project. Thanks for the laugh, I needed it! (Found you from SITS!)
    Suzanne @AndMyHouse just rambled about…This Is Not My Idea Of A Getaway…My Profile

    • I’m so glad you found my blog and enjoyed my post! I’m also glad to know I”m not the only one who can laugh at my husband and still love him at the same time. I swear, sometimes it’s like we’re little school girls the way we giggle. I guess that means we’re meant to be together. Thanks for commenting and visiting. Hopefully you will come back soon!

  11. “I don’t know, I didn’t read the article.” <– That might be my favorite.
    Emelie just rambled about…Honeys, I’m Hooooome!My Profile

  12. Wow. A full body suit. You guys really are newbies to the home improvement game. Ben and I have gotten to the point where I don’t ask- he doesn’t participate- and it costs a shitload. Really just the same problems- just different coverups.
    A Pleasant House just rambled about…An Honestly Good TimeMy Profile

  13. How fun to be a fly on the wall in your house! You guys crack me up.
    Carpool Goddess just rambled about…Summer Lovin’ (Had Me A Blast)My Profile

  14. I admire anyone who can tackle home improvement and keep their marriage intact. The divorce kit from home improvement is a great idea. Glad you guys can keep your sense of humor 🙂

  15. Okay seriously, did he lose a bet with that white full-body straight jacket? My husband would rather wear paint-stained everything every day than wear all over maxi pad. Oh, it looks good on HIM though 🙂 espesh b/c YES, he totally looks pants-less. Nice.
    Joy just rambled about…Blog and Social Media Hop #17My Profile

  16. TOTALLY AWESOME! You both are such riots!!! Home improvement projects- I want my husband on that! Love that you guys are listening to California Girls! LOL- I can wear chucks and do anything!
    mel just rambled about…Hayley is Stylin’ for School with her clothes from Kohls!My Profile

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