Lisa and Matt birthday 2013As you know, my husband and I went on a romantic trip to Vegas.  (Constantly being propositioned by overweight men to  engage in sexual encounters with others is romantic, right?)

Fortunately for me, I had my husband’s random comments to keep me entertained and keep my focus away from the men in thongs and wedges on the Strip. (I don’t need to be reminded that a 45 year old guy looks better in Spandex than I do.)

Because I know how much you love these nuggets of wisdom from my beloved, I jotted down a few of his musings to share with you.  Enjoy.

Tour Guide

photo credit: otzberg via photopin cc

photo credit: otzberg via photopin cc

Matt:  “That’s the Luxor. You can see the beam it shoots up in the air all the way from space.

Lisa:  “Really? From space?!”

Matt:  “Well, maybe not from space, but it goes pretty high.”

Scholar

Lisa:  “Is that book good?

Matt: “I haven’t started yet. I was kind of hoping to wrap up this conversation you’ve got going.

Film Critic

Lisa:  “Meredith Baxter Burney was in a million Lifetime movies.

Matt:  “I don’t know who that is.

Lisa: “She’s the mom from Family Ties.”

Matt: “That’s her? She’s always either getting raped or getting the shit beat out of her on Lifetime.

Beauty Scout

photo credit: viZZZual.com via photopin cc

photo credit: viZZZual.com via photopin cc

Matt: “Look at that chick.”

Lisa:  “What’s wrong with her?”

Matt:  “She looks like she’s seen some shit…like a brick wall.” <Then made hand gesture smashing his hand to his face>

Bully

Matt:  “Are you crabby? Did that hurt? Want me to call the wambulance? I’ll call 9-1-wah.”

Travel Agent

photo credit: Whirling Phoenix via photopin cc

photo credit: Whirling Phoenix via photopin cc

Matt:  “People come here from all over. Some come from Boise. Some come from Idaho.”

Lisa:  “Um, Boise is in Idaho.”

Matt:  “What’s the other place in Idaho?”

Lisa:  “There’s lots of other places in Idaho.”

Matt:  “As far as I’m concerned, it’s all Boise.”

 

40 Thoughts on “Funny things my husband said in Vegas

  1. OMG! You guys are funny! Totally cracked me up! Hope you had fun in Vegas. 😉
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  2. Does your husband have a blog? The world may need this. If he doesn’t, please use your feminine wiles to make it happen.
    Brian just rambled about…I’m James Patterson…My Profile

    • He doesn’t have a blog, but I’ve told him he needs to write guest posts on my blog from time to time. He actually writes movie reviews as his hobby and he’s a good writer, so I’m not sure why he doesn’t do guest posts.

      I never thought of using my feminine wiles to make this happen. You’re always thinking outside the box.

      Or in this case, inside the box….

  3. Haha! I’m standing in the kitchen laughing out loud, LOL!!! Everyone is like, “what”. Hahah. Oh too funny. Loved this post.

  4. I always love your funny things my husband said installments. My favorite today was the wambulance/calling 9-1-wah. I’m totally using that!
    Dana just rambled about…Twisted MixTape: The best kids’ TV theme songsMy Profile

  5. hahahaha hey your relationship can’t have TWO hilarious people. No fair.
    Everything in between Illinois and Colorado is “all Boise to me.”
    Joy just rambled about…Strippers, Sock Puppets, and the BEST $5 Ever SpentMy Profile

  6. Oh my goodness, these are absolutely hilarious! I especially love the book one. I think that’s how my husband feels all the time. Hahaha
    Mandi Noel just rambled about…5 Shameful Things I Do When My Husband is AwayMy Profile

  7. Ha ha, very amusing! I really should be writing some of the things my hubby comes out with, most of them totally politically uncorrect. He makes me laugh all the time.
    Alicia just rambled about…Flowering RosemaryMy Profile

  8. My favorite: As far as I’m concerned, it’s all Boise.

    We, too, call the Waambulance, but the direct dial here is 9-2-2. Just one more thing we have in common. Not that I”m calling you common, of course. You’re a tramp.
    Julie the Wife just rambled about…Drinking and Swearing with Nikki KnepperMy Profile

  9. I’m totally stealing the brick wall and wambulance quotes. Freaking Hilarious.

  10. Ha! Arnt husbands funny 😛 The brick wall conversation is totally like something i would say!
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  11. My favorite is that he knows who stars in Lifetime movies 🙂
    Kate just rambled about…Margaritas, meet ups and motivationMy Profile

  12. Of course I’m going to have to use the 9-1-wah comment on my kids. 🙂
    Rosey just rambled about…Wordless Wednesday: London Phone BoothMy Profile

  13. I’m pretty sure he’s right about Idaho.

    Just sayin’.
    Emelie just rambled about…Moses Parted The Red Sea So That The Little Mermaid Could Strip… To Pay Her Way Through College… Obviously.My Profile

  14. Came upon your blog via Pinterest. Love it!!!! Your husband cracks me up!
    Lori Wescott just rambled about…No Place Like HomeMy Profile

    • YAY! I’m so glad you found me! I write about my husband fairly regularly because he says a lot of funny things. The funniest part is that he usually isn’t intending to be funny!

      Thanks for reading and commenting. Please come back and visit whenever you’d like. 🙂

  15. The 9-1-wah is good. I’m going to have to use that one later.

    You should really make a book of his quotes. Call it “the wisdom of Matt.”
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  16. A book is an awesome idea. I would buy it! Frequently, your caption of the comment is what really makes it funny.

  17. OMG this was so funny.The one that was my favorite was the one about the ugly chick. That is something my husband would say to me. I live in Vegas so I know about the 45 year old G-String bandits! Where did you go that big round men hit on you?

    Deedra
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    • I also laughed pretty hard at the ugly woman comment! My husband can be kind of funny at times. Sometimes…

      We stayed at the Aria. It was really nice and beautiful. I just wish everything wasn’t a million dollars there!

      • You where at my favorite spot on the strip. The Cosmopolitan is one of the coolest places to sit and people watch, and I am very fond of the buffet they have, The Wicked Spoon.
        Deedra just rambled about…Purex Review and GiveawayMy Profile

        • I wish I had know this before I went! I totally love buffets but Matt wasn’t really down with them so we didn’t go. I didn’t know of any good ones to argue for, so I didn’t push it. A buffet is my happy place.

  18. All Boise indeed!! By the way, I remember Meredith what’s her face from the show Family where she was Kristy McNichol’s older sister. Man am I old!!! Glad you and Matt had a good time!
    Mom Rants and Comfy Pants just rambled about…Musings From the Shower – The Pursuit of NormalMy Profile

  19. Now Matt does know that it’s right in the contract they sign at Lifetime that ALL the females on there get the crap beat out of them. Just checking…
    The Sadder But Wiser Girl just rambled about…Old School Blogging: We’re NOT Going StreakingMy Profile

    • I really think Lifetime only agrees to do projects where women are battered and abused and then overcome it. That’s the plot of EVERY single movie…and why I don’t watch Lifetime (except for Project Runway).

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