photo credit: ubiquit23 via photopin cc

photo credit: ubiquit23 via photopin cc

By now you’ve heard about the NSA leaker, Edward Snowden, and how he’s on the run from the Feds.  I wish there was a different term to describe him other than a “leaker,” but no one consulted with me about nicknames.

I would call him the Snowster.

The term “leaker” sounds like he’s lactating or that he has a prostate problem.  Come to think of it, maybe he does have a prostate problem, which is why he’s always on the go.  (Pun intended.)

He should probably get that checked out…once he gets to a country with a good healthcare system.  (Stay away from Canada, Snowster!)

Either way, he’s on the lamb, and not the way I’m on the lamb at my favorite Greek restaurant.  I am LITERALY on the lamb when I go there.  It’s that delicious and Olympia Kebob House knows how to make a gyro that will rock your world.

Great, now I want humus.  Thanks, Edward Snowden.

Focus, people!  Let’s get back on track!  Espionage and the Snowster.  Stay with me.

photo credit: Genista via photopin cc

photo credit: Genista via photopin cc

Reports indicate the Snowster was initially in Hawaii and then fled to Hong Kong, but has since been linked to Moscow.  Homeboy gets around, but not in a Kim Kardashian kind of way.

He may be deemed by the media to be a villain, but he’s still better liked than Kimmy.  I’m sure of it.

Given the Snowster’s known travel destinations, I can’t even begin to imagine the nightmare that would be packing for his asylum trip.  From Speedos and muscle shirts for Hawaii to parkas and scarves for Moscow, I hope he has an Amazon Prime membership so he doesn’t have to pay shipping for all his new digs.

I also hope he has a razor to keep himself groomed if he’s going to rock a Speedo.

With all the speculation about his next destination, along with my speculation about his next clothing purchase, I think Hasbro needs to capitalize on this and get a board game going.

photo credit: Genista via photopin cc

photo credit: Genista via photopin cc

Do people still play board games?  I know I can dominate a round of Candy Land, but that’s also what I call my secret stash of Starbursts and Rolos hidden in my closet.  I don’t think that’s the same thing.

Don’t judge.

Whether it’s a board game or a computer game, someone needs to come up with one that focuses on Where in the World is Edward Snowden.  It would be kind of like Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, but without that annoying little theme song.

That song is now stuck in my head.  It’s stuck in yours too.  If I have to suffer, so do you.  We’re a team like that.

I haven’t worked out all the rules of the game yet, but I think the point would be to seek asylum in a country that other players would have to guess.

photo credit: mortenjohs via photopin cc

photo credit: mortenjohs via photopin cc

One of the players would be the Snowster, complete with his hipster glasses and popped collared shirts.  The other players would be FBI agents and Secretary of State John Kerry, whose figurine would just be a ketchup bottle.

There would undoubtedly be obstacles the Snowster would have to overcome, like running out of styling mousse or gel for his sweet hair style.  He would have to find a way to get a replenished supply of Dep without being detected by the feds.   It wouldn’t be easy.

He would also have other set backs, like losing his compass or his super secret spy glasses.  (Someone should tell him to think about contacts.)

There would obviously be a theme song for the game, which would undoubtedly be “Informer” by Snow.  It’s both lyrically accurate, and Snowden has the artist’s* name incorporated into his own.  It’s a no-brainer.

*The term “artist” is used extremely loosely here.

photo credit: stevendepolo via photopin cc

photo credit: stevendepolo via photopin cc

Come on, Hasbro, this game is gold.  It teaches kids about geography, while also teaching about government, and how no one likes a tattle tale.

An alternate name could be “Snitches Get Stitches,” or “Whistelblowers Get an Ass Whooping.”

I’m still toying with the names, no pun intended.

Call me, Hasbro.  Let’s make this a thing.

28 Thoughts on “Where in the World is Edward Snowden? A New Board Game

  1. I will totally play this board game with you when you invite me over. We can play it in your Candyland closet so you don’t have to worry about me fainting with hunger while we’re at it! 😛
    Roshni just rambled about…Play times can teach life’s lessonsMy Profile

  2. Oh please, please, please let this game include a Rock-a-pella CD! They rock….a-capella!

    Coincidentally, Informer was the #1 hit when I turned 18, making it my “life song”
    My “birth song” is Philadelphia Freedom by Elton John. I don’t know what it means but I never bother playing the lottery.
    Brian just rambled about…70s pop music: The bleak, the dumb, the creepy.My Profile

  3. I still play board games…when I can get someone (or make someone) play with me!
    Sounds like a solid foundation for a game…

    and you really got me with “That song is now stuck in my head. It’s stuck in yours too. If I have to suffer, so do you. ” because indeed it is! Damn you, Lisa Newlin, Damn you. 🙂
    Wordifull Melanie just rambled about…StormMy Profile

  4. OMG .. I want this board game!! It is perfect! 🙂

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
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    Lanaya @ Raising Reagan just rambled about…It’s Official … I’m the Mother of a Girl!My Profile

  5. I would buy that game. Definitely. The theme song is pure gold, though I still have Carmen’s theme song on an annoying loop in my head. Sigh.

    John Kerry as a ketchup bottle? I’m dying over here. LOL.
    Sarah B. just rambled about…Twisted Tuesday Mixtape: More Groovy 70′s MusicMy Profile

  6. Funny. I loved where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego when I was a teen. I like the geography. Anyway, I think he was trying to let us know how the government is watching us. You know 1984 only in 2013. He really didn’t need to get himself in trouble. Anybody with half a brain knows the Government has eyes, ears, and stuff in places they shouldn’t all in the name of national security. I mean haven’t you guys been watching Person of Interest on CBS? I don’t think they will catch him.
    Mary-andering Creatively just rambled about…Blog Hops to Join For Fun Ideas for Mom and KidsMy Profile

    • I know what you mean about Big Brother. I am actually kind of shocked people are so shocked this stuff goes on. Of course the government knows more than what they tell us! I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but people should know or at least assume this kind of stuff goes on.

      I also don’t think they will catch him. I know WikiLeaks is helping him so I think he will get his asylum and they will be out of luck.

  7. I’m a grandma, so I rock the board game thing. Bring it on.

    I don’t know how you come up with this stuff Lisa! You have one sick mind there (in a totally good ‘wish I could be more like that’ kind of way).
    Doreen@househoneys just rambled about…A Rustic RetreatMy Profile

    • Aw, I’ve never been so flattered to be told I have a sick mind! I seriously have no idea where this stuff comes from, but it’s just what floats around in my head and I figure I might as well write it down when I get a random idea.

      You should see my lists of notes. SCARE-EE!!!!

  8. Your brain scares me. And I’m just a little bit turned on.
    Hilarious. Thank you for linking up with the Humor Me Blog Hop!
    Julie Chenell DeNeen just rambled about…Humor Me Blog Hop #4 and the PresidencyMy Profile

  9. Believe it or not, I’ve never heard of Edward Snowden. I’ve heard of the NSA thought, but only because it’s been constantly joked about on Twitter. I need to get out. I like your idea for the game – kids (and obviously, me) could learn a lot!
    Kate Hall just rambled about…The Song Afternoon Delight Was About the Ice Cream Man, Right? (…and Humor Me Blog Hop #4!)My Profile

    • Edward Snowden is the guy who leaked all the info to the press about how the government is monitoring our calls, internet usage, etc. He was a private contractor for the government and blew the whistle on a lot of the stuff they were doing.

      He’s now on the run because the Feds have charged him with treason, which legally, I think is a stretch. I just think the government doesn’t appreciate him tattling on them. It’s definitely an interesting topic.

      And I’m not here to judge about whether you keep up on news. You had kids to take care of! Who has time for news?
      Lisa Newlin just rambled about…A break up letter to Auto-CorrectMy Profile

  10. The Ketchup bottle was the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Maybe we could format the game like clue?

    “I think Snowden is in: China with NSA documents and a lead pipe!”
    Peter Licari just rambled about…A Rose by Any Other Name is Just as Thorny.My Profile

    • You aren’t the only one who loved the John Kerry ketchup bottle joke. I thought it was just okay but people are eating it up with a spoon…ew….ketchup with a spoon would be gross.

  11. Turn this into a drinking game and then we’ll talk! 🙂 Thanks for linking up with the other funny fockers! 🙂
    Terrye just rambled about…The Truth About the Seasons in AlaskaMy Profile

  12. Is it sad that I’ve started receiving all my major news from blogs? Don’t answer that. And now that horrible Carmen SanDiego song is in my head- argh!!! I enjoyed the term “lyrically accurate”- I’ll have to start using that one!
    Stephanie @ Mommy, for real. just rambled about…Bedtime Stall Tactics, As Taught By My ToddlerMy Profile

    • It’s not sad that you get your news from blogs. I’m honored to think that my blog might be responsible for giving you a chuckle but also keeping you apprised of world events.

      Facebook is how I found out Bin Laden was dead.

  13. Leslie on June 25, 2013 at 10:47 pm said:

    I laughed out loud at the John Kerry figure being a ketchup bottle. That is a board game I would buy!

    Thank you for linking up to Raising Imperfection!
    Make sure to check back on Friday to see if you were featured.
    Leslie
    http://www.violetimperfection.com

    • That John Kerry ketchup thing seems to be everyone’s favorite, and I almost didn’t include it. I just randomly thought of it and debated taking it out.

      I’m glad I didn’t!

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