HappyMother's DayHappy Mother’s Day to me!  (Oh, and to you too….)

Okay, so I’m not a mother in the sense that I pushed kids out of my hoo ha, but I still think I’m a mother after all.

Granted, some people would agree I’m a mother, but would then add an unfortunate expletive after that.  Those people suck.  Duh.

Hoo-ha pushing or not, I’m a mother all year long.  No, not to human babies, although I swear I love them as much as if I’d delivered them myself.  Disturbing?  Absolutely.  True?  Totally.

I have three dogs that are the loves of my lives.  Oh, and my husband too.

My dogs are my babies, and I couldn’t possibly love them more.  As you know, I recently wrote a post about why my dogs are better than your kids.  You can check that out here.

Max in a tux with a smooch this pooch pillow

He’s such a ladies’ man.

Okay, so I’m not saying my dogs are better than your specific kids, but just kids in general.

So how am I mother, you ask?  (Aside from the a-forementioned curse word?)  Here are a few reasons:

1.  I deal with poop all the time.

No, it isn’t in a diaper, but I have to pick it up with a plastic bag, so I’m still hurting the environment the same way.

The bad part is that unlike babies who (hopefully) grow out of needing moms to tend to their bowels, my dogs will never become sufficient at picking up their own poo (with anything other than their mouths).

2.  I take them to daycare

Yes, I’m that mom, and if you took your dog to daycare, you would know why we do.  Best money ever spent, and I don’t even have to pack a lunch for them!

Much like mothers of human babies, I also worry about what they’re learning at daycare.  I fear one day Shady Jack will come home and drop the f-bomb.  I know that guy is learning bad language from all the other pups, as it certainly wouldn’t come from my angel.

3.  I’m up at least twice during the night with them

From whimpering to peeing to running out of water, I’m up with them a few times a night when all I really want to do is sleep.  Matt and I take turns pretending to be asleep so we don’t have to get up.  We’re just like a real family!

Jack in rescued collar4.  One of them is always going to the doctor

From the sniffles to randomly being attacked by two dogs, one of them is always going to the doctor for something.  We haven’t had a pink eye outbreak yet, but I know it’s coming.  (No thanks to daycare.)

5.  I spoil them with toys and treats they don’t need

Do they need baskets full of toys and an entire cabinet of treats?  Not anymore than your kid needs 10 Barbie dolls and a Malibu playhouse.

Yet, whenever I’m at a pet store, I feel obligated to get them something.  After all, they deserve it, right?

Bentley in bowtie6.  I talk to them in a baby voice.

I don’t want to admit this, but I do.  I sometimes talk to them like they’re babies and I ask them questions.  I don’t expect answers from them…yet…they’re only toddlers.

7.  I assume everyone wants to see pictures and hear stories about them.

Much like moms with their wallets full of baby photos, I’m the same way with my iPhone full of dog pics. Do you want to see them?  Not any more than I want to see the photo of your kid’s school picture.

He's actually running!

He’s actually running!

8.  I’m convinced they’re the cutest things ever and no one has cuter babies.

This is not up for debate.  I’m convinced of it because it’s 100% true.

9.  I will personally inflict pain to anyone who hurts them.

For reals.  Don’t even think about it.

10.  Our house is in constant disarray because of their toys and play time.

They can’t learn to put their toys away before getting out more, and I’ve often threatened to take them away if they don’t start taking care of them better.

Shady Jack in tuxI then burst into tears because I realize I’ve turned into my mother.

11.  They’re the reason we sometimes miss social events.

From missing a charity event because Bentley ingested stuffing from a toy, to missing a road trip with friends because Shady Jack’s junk was bleeding, we seem to miss events just as much as other parents do.

12.  Our friends are comprised of their friends’ parents

Just like soccer moms team up together in their velour track suits with their cup of espresso, dog moms team up together in their dog-walking clothes with their handful of poo bags.  It’s a shared bond, and no, you can’t join in.

13.  I correct other parents on their parenting styles

If I see someone handling their dog in a way I don’t agree with, I say something.  Did they ask me for help as I passed them while walking down the street?

No, but I’m sure they’re happier to have my wisdom, as I’m clearly an excellent dog parent.  Moms on the playground do the same thing.

Everyone hates those moms.

All 3 at photo shoot14.  I spend most of my disposable income on them

Have you seen the cute toys, bones, treats, collars, leashes and games you can buy for your dogs?  If you have, you definitely have a living room full of Angry Bird dog toys and doggie iPhones.

Bentley sleeping in red sheets15. Conflicting parenting styles are a source of arguments

At times, Matt and I will disagree about which way is the best way to discipline the dogs.  Obviously, since I’m always right, my parenting style is correct.

However, it takes him a minute before I beat him down he comes to his senses and realizes my way is the right way.

See?  I’ve convinced you why I’m a mother.  I’ve also convinced you I’m a crazy dog person who probably needs to get a grip on reality, but you knew that already.  You read this blog.

Much like all moms, I love my boys far more than I should, and I wouldn’t trade the three of them for anything in the world.  I couldn’t be happier with them, and I’m so lucky I get to be their mom.

And just like other moms, I don’t have a favorite.*

*I totally have a favorite.

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Happy Mother’s Day to two of my favorite moms.  One of them gave birth to me and the other gave birth to the apple of my eye, my sweet niece, Miss K. The other handsome dudes in the photos are my dad and my brother, as if you couldn’t figure that out.

26 Thoughts on “Happy Mother’s Day to the animal moms too!

  1. Vicky on May 12, 2013 at 9:34 pm said:

    Oh wow – i am loving your blog! I happened to stumble upon it from your google plus post and I’m following you on bloglovin now. What’s funny or maybe sad is that I’m reading through these and most of them apply to me and my dogs. 🙂

    • Vicky,

      That’s not sad, that’s awesome! It should make you feel good to know that there are other people in the world who love their dogs as much as you do!

      We are obviously an awesome group of people, and very elite.

      Please tell me you don’t spill stuff on your shirt too. No, please tell me you do. 🙂

      Thanks for reading and for following. I appreciate it so much and hopefully I won’t let you down! 🙂

  2. I agree that dog moms can celebrate Mother’s Day too — Happy Moms Day to you!
    Emily just rambled about…My First Mother’s Day Without My Mom (I Promise This Won’t Be Depressing)My Profile

    • Thanks Emily! I also have three boys, although I think raising three human boys is a lot harder than three dog boys, so I will defer to you!

      I hope you had a GREAT Mother’s Day and got a little relaxation too! 🙂

  3. Amen, sister friend! Plus, I can never pee alone unless I shut the door.
    Abby just rambled about…Employee of the MonthMy Profile

    • Exactly! Being a mom to animals affords us the love and affection of little ones, but still lets us conduct our bathroom business without prying eyes.

      It’s the best of both worlds! 😉

  4. I love love love this post. We have both human kids and fur kids. We tell our grown kids that our dog is their sibling. And we babysit our grand-fur-kids. I am visiting from funny post partum lady blog hop.

    • Oh my gosh! You sound just like my parents! When we were growing up, they would refer to our dogs as our “sisters” and my mom still sends gifts to her “granddogs.”

      I’m so glad to know there are other dog lovers who love their dogs even after having kids. They really are part of the family!

      I’m so glad you found me on the blog hop. I tried to click on your link here but it said there wasn’t a website to link to. I tried to figure out which one you were on the blog hop but I can’t figure it out. (I’m not that smart).

      Let me know what your blog is and I would love to check it out. I have a feeling you are awesome if you love dogs and have grand-fur-kids. 🙂

  5. Yes, yes, and more yes. I love this! Happy Mother’s Day! 🙂
    Emelie just rambled about…Commercials Often Throw Me Into a Fit of RageMy Profile

  6. Ha! Great post!! We feel the same way about our cats too! (Tho we also have 1 kid!!)
    Science Of Parenthood just rambled about…Macaroni Frequency FormulaMy Profile

    • I love that you love your cats like your kids! (And hopefully, you love your kid like your kid too). I’m allergic to cats so it’s not something we’ve ever been able to have, but I’m quite confident that Mother’s Day applies to cat moms too! (Especially if you’re a mom to a human kid.)

      Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂

  7. Okay, now I wish I had dogs again. Sorta. Let me think about that. You are absolutely right – dogs are a LOT of work. But you have to love the fact that they don’t yell things like “I hate you” or “I wish you weren’t my mom”. They don’t slam doors and ask to borrow your clothes and you don’t get bills that indicate your little cherub went WAAAAAAY over on minutes. You’re all mom in my book and now I’m kinda jealous of you. Great post!!
    Mom Rants and Comfy Pants just rambled about…Lessons From My KidsMy Profile

    • HA! This comment made me laugh out loud! I love the “little cherub went WAAAAAAy over on minutes.” Okay, I don’t love that your child went over on minutes, as that isn’t cool, but I love how you phrased it!

      I think from time to time my dogs tell me they’re mad at me. This is done by urinating on my rugs, which is why my house always has the faintest scent of urine. Shady Jack sometimes expresses his displeasure by chewing up a squeaky toy or going through the garbage, although I suppose that’s better than saying he wishes I wasn’t his mom.

      So I guess, overall, I’ve got it figured out. Of course, our dogs aren’t going to take care of us when we’re old, so there’s that significant downside. However, with all the money we’re saving from not having kids, we should hopefully be able to save up for a nice retirement home! 🙂

      Happy Mother’s Day!

  8. I gave birth to three human children, but they grew up and left me. One actually came back after college, but she recently found a job and will leave again, so come fall we are empty nesters–that is except for my dog babies who would never dream of leaving us. I know, I know, we’ve lost two old fur babies, but they didn’t choose to go like my human babies.
    Joyce just rambled about…Musical Monday: The NeighborMy Profile

    • I’m so sorry you are going to be empty nesters! But at least you have your four legged babies to keep you company. I guarantee they will be happy to have you all to themselves.

      Isn’t it crazy how loyal dogs can be? When we first got Shady Jack, he was our foster dog. We had him for a few days and he jumped the fence in the backyard to chase a rabbit. I saw him jump it and he was gone! (That guy can run!)

      In a few days I had fallen in love with him and I cried and scrambled to find him. I went back to my house to get the car and started bawling while standing on my front porch. I looked up and saw Shady Jack running right to me with the biggest grin on his face.

      He has never run off again. I think he realized he had a good gig, checked things out, and then came back!

  9. WOW! You just made some really valid points. lol – It’s on my share list for sure.
    @PamelaMKramer – A Renaissance Woman just rambled about…Mother’s Day Craft IdeasMy Profile

  10. Thanks for coming to visit me for my SITS day yesterday! I’m a dog mom too…I actually write about them quite a bit. 🙂 I have a puppy who is always getting himself into something…he needs a pal to rough house with, but my husband is putting his foot down at 4 dogs. So his best pal is a cat…she only cuddles with him, no rough housing allowed…she’s very strict about that. She rules the roost. We actually have 4 cats and 3 kids so its pretty much chaos around here.
    Michelle just rambled about…Happy SITS Day to Me!My Profile

    • I love that you have 4 dogs and 3 kids and 4 cats! It sounds like your house is always busy (and probably always has someone pooping or peeing at any given time.)

      I would have a million dogs if it was socially acceptable and if I lived alone. We volunteer at a rescue shelter, and we used to foster, but kept our last foster, so now we are at 3. With a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house, we don’t have a lot of room for more, but if it was just me, I would have a house full!

      Thanks for reading and commenting! 🙂 Animal lovers are always welcome on my page.

  11. I was a fur baby mama before a mama, mama. TOtally agree with your post. Sometimes raising an infant is like raising our pup. I just wish the baby would’ve slept through the night from the get go like the dog has. Ah well. 😉
    Bianca @ Track Pants and a Tot just rambled about…Monday MusingsMy Profile

    • I suspect being a mom to a fur baby really does prepare you for being a mom to skin babies. Wait, that sounds gross. I will never use the term “skin babies” again. Ew.

      They say dogs have the brain capacity of toddlers, which I suspect is true. I just wish I could throw them in front of the TV and entertain them like I can a 3 year-old!

  12. Oh my gosh!! So true! I joke that I am a single mom all the time. But at least real babies wear diapers. I will never get used to picking up poop haah!

    Your dogs are SUPER adorable!!

    • Believe me, Leeann, if I could get my dogs to wear diapers, I probably would do it. I have boys so they still like to “mark” a bit. I don’t really see them doing it in the house, but when I catch a faint smell of urine, I know it was one of them. I try not to blame my husband, but he may very well be at fault.

      Thanks for reading and commenting. And I agree, that I think my dogs are super adorable. 🙂

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