Photo courtesy of Marvel Studios

Photo courtesy of Marvel Studios

grown man wearing 3d glassesMy husband is a movie reviewer.  I know, you’re jealous, but there’s more.  He gets to see movies for free before they come out. Mind = blown.

It’s a pretty sweet gig and yet another reason he’s such a catch. Unfortunately for him, I don’t really like movies, and the only reason I go is (1) because I want to stuff my face with buttery popcorn and/or (2) I get to see Ryan Gosling without a shirt.  A combination of (1) and (2) is perfect.

(As a side note, engaging in (1) above usually leads to #2…if you know what I mean.)

Anyway, last night my husband went to the screening of Iron Man 3.  Yeah, he’s a big deal.  Sure, it was on our wedding anniversary, but considering I was at home coughing up part of my lung and gasping for air, I didn’t mind he went to the movie.

More oxygen in the house for me.

Because I’m an amazingly supportive wife (and because I wanted to avoid “sexy time”), I asked him about the movie and if he liked it.

Before he answered, I started a coughing fit of epic proportions.  It wasn’t just a few lame coughs.  When I do something, I go all out.  It was a “I think I might vomit and my head might explode” kind of coughing fit.

You totally know what I’m talking about.

As soon as the coughing tapered off, my husband and I engaged in the following conversation.

Matt:  “I got some really cool Iron Man 3d glasses at the movie that I get to keep forever.”

(As if I thought they would only allow him to take them home for the weekend.)

The coveted "classic colors" glasses.

The coveted “classic colors” glasses.

Lisa:  “When will you ever use those 3d glasses?”

Matt:  “Um, I will use them when I go to see 3d movies, duh.” he said, as if I asked the dumbest question in the world, and not as if he was an adult overly excited about free 3d glasses.

Lisa: “Don’t theaters give you 3d glasses for free whenever you go to a 3d movie?” I asked, once again questioning why I married this guy.

Matt: “Yeah, but the ones they give you aren’t cool.  These are cool.  I got to pick mine out of 6 choices.”

Lisa:  “They seriously had 6 different options of Iron Man 3d glasses?” I questioned, all of a sudden understanding where our simple dog, Max, got his “simpleness.”

Matt:  “Heck yeah they had 6 different kinds.  I picked the classic colors,” he responded, as if anyone who picked anything other than the classic colors option was a stupid piece of crap.

Lisa:  “Did you have to rifle through bins to find the one you wanted?  Did you try them on to see which one looked best like you do at Walmart?  Were there mirrors or did you have to take selfies on your phone to see how you looked in each pair?”

I asked these tough questions because I could picture my husband picking through a cardboard box looking for “classic colors” and yelling “Sa-wheat!” when he found them.

Matt:  “No.  I didn’t have to look around.  I knew I wanted classic colors,” he said in a kind of quiet voice.

Although he was soft spoken about this, his tone suggested his behavior was the most logical thing in the world…you know…the most logical thing for a grown man to already have it figured out which pair of free 3d glasses he wanted to use so he could watch a free movie about a comic book character.

Yup.  Totally logical.

Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband! Why he puts up with my abuse, I will never know.

He had his regular glasses on before I took this picture and I walked over and put the Iron Man ones on over his glasses to which he responded "Don't do that, it will look stupid." Yes, because a grown man eating a donut dunked in milk while wearing Iron Man 3d glasses isn't ridiculous enough.

He had his regular glasses on before I took this picture and I walked over and put the Iron Man ones on over his glasses to which he responded “Don’t do that, it will look stupid.” Yes, because a grown man eating a donut dunked in milk while wearing Iron Man 3d glasses isn’t ridiculous enough.