It’s that time of year again, sports fans (and beer fans)! It’s Opening Day in Busch Stadium in St. Louis!
For those of you not lucky enough to live in this beer and baseball town, Opening Day is practically a holiday in St. Louis, celebrated by all.
Do you want your car fixed? Not on Opening Day you don’t. What about a yearly check up with your doctor? Not unless you want to have a last minute cancellation because your doc got tickets to the game.
Saint Louis celebrates beer and baseball like no one else, and Opening Day is one of the most exciting days of the year. Aside from, of course, my birthday, but that’s more of a world-wide celebration.
So in honor of this glorious day, I decided to make a list of my favorite things about Opening Day, aside from drinking. That’s just too obvious and I’m better than that. It would also be a short post.
5. Nachos are considered an acceptable lunch
However, not everyone is as nutritiously conscious as I am.
What’s not to love about stadium nachos?
Vegetables? Check. (Jalapeños and tomatoes)
Protein? Check. (Stadium cheese and beef)
Dairy? Check. (Cheese and sour cream)
Carbs? Check. (Chips)
It’s a well-balanced meal and I’m not sure why it isn’t a regular form of sustenance during the regular year. However, I’m glad there’s at least one day a year where noshing on carbs and fake cheese is encouraged.
4. White pants
Not on me. Ew. That would be disgusting, and would also be a disaster. Didn’t you read #5 about the nachos? I’d have cheese and salsa on my pants within 30 seconds of gaining possession of those crunchy carbs.
I’m referring to the white pants those stud-muffin Cardinals players wear when they play ball.
They’re not skin tight in a David Bowie in Labyrinth kind of way.
They’re classy and leave a bit to the imagination (and with each beer, I find more and more imagination).
Opening Day is usually after Easter, and wearing white isn’t faux paux after the egg-stravagant holiday. (Yes, I made that pun. It was horribly awesome.)
Seeing the white pants on the tight butts of the players is reason alone to buy a ticket. Adam Wainright is too.
WARNING: This white pants rule doesn’t apply to most of the coaches, although Mike Matheny sure fills them out nicely.He’s the exception to the rule.
He’s the exception to most rules. <sigh>
3. It’s okay to be drunk on a Monday at 10:00 a.m.
But on Opening Day, it’s not only acceptable. It’s encouraged!
Walking around the streets of downtown St. Louis on Opening Day, it can be difficult to find a sober person.
In fact, sober people on Opening Day are an anomaly; a phantom; a myth. If you’re not stumbling drunk by noon, most St. Louis fans will deem you a Cubs fan and banish you from the stadium.
NOTE: Being called a Cubs fan is the worst atrocity imaginable. I figure you guys knew that, but I wanted to reiterate it. I will also reiterate that the Cubs suck.
2. I look good in red.
I do. It’s a fact. I’m so glad my St. Louis Cardinals have red and white as their colors, as both are complimentary to my hair and skin tone. Even though I’ve recently gone from blonde to red/brunette, my red Cardinals gear still looks good on me.
But of course it does. Why wouldn’t it?
Other teams aren’t as lucky when it comes to team colors. San Francisco got hit with the ugly stick of team colors and uniforms.
I actually feel sorry for the Giants fans. Sure, they won the World Series last year, blah, blah, blah. But they deserve a win every now and then just for having to wear those hideous uniforms and the color orange.
No one looks good in orange.
And why are the Giants’ colors orange? I would think they’d be green, for obvious reasons. I guess San Francisco isn’t a fan of vegetables. Ho ho ho.
SIDEBAR: Who has won more World Series than the current reigning champs? The St. Louis Cardinals. Again, suck it Cubs.
1. Mike Shannon
This guy is the number one reason I love Opening Day. Cardinals fans everywhere love the voice of this announcer, even if we can’t understand what he’s saying most of the time.
Listeners can practically see the tumbler of scotchka (scotch and vodka) grasped tightly in his hand as he calls the game. If you stop and listen closely, you can hear the ice jingling in the glass.
However, the ice doesn’t have time to melt, as he downs his drinks fairly quickly. Mike Shannon doesn’t want his scotchka watered down.
He’s not a pussy.
Cardinal Nation lives for Shannon musings like “That foul tip bounced up and caught him right in the groins…and that’ll really clear your eyes out.” and “The moon sure is pretty tonight. Wish you folks at home could see it.”
We’re glad he’s back in full effect, and full of liquor…just the way a baseball announcer should be.