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Photo from TODD OREN/WIREIMAGE http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/teen-mom-star-admits-porn-tape-article-1.1312908

I don’t watch Teen Moms on MTV.  If I wanted to see teen moms, I’d just go to the food court at the mall, as that’s where I find them in my town.

I think many of them believe the toddler play area is a free daycare service provided by the local Cinnabon employees.

Wait.  I think some of those teen moms are local Cinnabon employees.

Anyway, this post isn’t about the teen moms who keep me fat with copious amount of icing.  (Did you know they let you just order icing?)

This post is about Farrah Abraham, who was previously on Teen Moms.  I refuse to watch MTV ever since The Hills was cancelled, so I’m not familiar with the show.

I’m no genius (and neither is the MTV viewer demographic), but I suspect it’s a show about teen moms.

A quick search of the interwebs confirmed my suspicions, and Farrah was one of the moms featured.

Apparently, the role-model mom made a sex tape and sold it for nearly $1 million.  That’s quite the after-school job and beats the crap out of my high school job bagging groceries.

According to Farrah, she made the tape “for her personal use only.”  You know, like most teen moms raising a kid on their own do.

Being a single parent is hard and not always respected by society.  What better way to (1) earn money and (2) gain the respect of others, than by making a sex tape?

The logic is infallable.  (As is MTV’s ability to make idiotic programming.)

'Teen Mom' Farrah Abraham (Photo: Scott Gries/MTV) http://xfinity.comcast.net/blogs/tv/2011/04/07/teen-moms-farrah-abraham-writing-a-memoir/

‘Teen Mom’ Farrah Abraham (Photo: Scott Gries/MTV) http://xfinity.comcast.net/blogs/tv/2011
/04/07/teen-moms-farrah-abraham-writing-a-memoir/

According to Business Insider, Farrah made the tape with no intention of selling it, and I believe her.  I know all the times I’ve made a sex tape, I’ve done so for those nights when The Big Bang Theory is in reruns and there’s nothing on HBO.

What better way to wind down from a long day at work than to watch a video of myself naked?

Some accuse Farrah of doing this for money, but I don’t see any evidence to support that.  Let’s analyze this and strip down to the bare facts.

First, if she wanted to make a sex tape to sell, would she choose infamous p0rn star James Deen to do the deed with her?  Of course not.

What purpose would that serve?  To increase sales with a well-known dong?  Pft!  Farrah’s better than that.

According to Business Insider, James Deen, has been in over 1,300 “adult” films.  I can only assume that’s a reference to films about algebra and physics, as those are certainly “adult” topics.

I’m sure Farrah had no intention of making this film for profit.  I mean, in my single days, I can’t tell you how many times I solicited infamous p0rn stars to make sex tapes with me just for fun.  Just for shits and giggles.  (Ironically, that was the name of a film I wanted to make.)

sex tapeMaking a sex tape with a p0rn star does not a p0rn star make.

Granted, at first Farrah denied the tape existed, but isn’t that the standard protocol for all sex tape scandals?

Fine role models like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton set the Gold Coin Condom standard for the proper way to handle the distribution of sex tapes.  The first step is deny, deny deny!

Actually, the first step is to make a p0rno, but those ladies don’t seem like they’re very good with counting anything but the dollars made by their…ahem…hard work.

So I don’t fault Farrah for denying the tape’s existence.  That’s how it gets publicity. Isn’t that how the Loch Ness Monster stays relevant?  If he admitted his existence, his elusive gig would be all over.

Farrah is just taking a page from the book of our favorite amphibian.

Apparently the video has a name, Farrah Superstar:  Backdoor Teen Mom.  I’m sure that’s just the name she wrote on the sticker on the outside of the VHS tape.

I usually label my videos with titles like Lisa Loves Laundry or Suburbanite Scrubbing Sinks. Those accurately describe the contents, while using a clever name.

Photo from ETHAN MILLER/GETTY IMAGES http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/teen-mom-star-admits-porn-tape-article-1.1312908

Photo from ETHAN MILLER/GETTY IMAGES http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip
/teen-mom-star-admits-porn-tape-article-1.1312908

So I don’t fault Farrah.  I’m sure the video involves her greeting a guest at the backdoor…where all self-respecting women greet their overnight guests.

Farrah is really just a victim and James Deen is the one to blame.

After all, he went on The Today Show and told America it was all a scheme.  He said she tried to fake a relationship with him and invite paparazzi to photograph them “on a date” so the release of the “oopsie” video would be believable, but Deen wouldn’t do it.

He has standards, which are just what I look for in my favorite adult film star.

Deen refused to go “out” with her in public and let the tabloids video it.  That would just be crude.  He was fine going “in” (and out) with her in private (and in her privates).

Videotaping that was totally fine.

But go to Starbucks for a coffee and let photographers snatch some shots?  What is he?  A prostitute?  Someone who has sex for money?  Someone who gets paid to do just about anyone for a pay check?

NO.  He has standards!  He’s a p0rn star for goodness sakes!

So I’m urging you, have some sympathy for Farrah.  After all, her name is Farrah Abraham, which sounds a lot like “Father Abraham” which is a super catchy song I used to sing as a kid.

And as we all know, Father Abraham had many sons (and many sons had Father Abraham.)

I bet she’s just trying to make more babies to live up to the legend of that song.  She seems like a really religious gal.

24 Thoughts on “Farrah Abraham’s “oopsie” video and why I’m sure it was an accident

  1. I read this story last week. That girl is disturbing.
    Diana @ Nanny to Mommy just rambled about…A Day At The Park {Graco FastAction™ Fold Click Connect™ Jogger Review}My Profile

    • I realize I’m going to sound like my mom, but I really have a problem with that Teen Moms show. I honestly think it makes it look like being a teen mom is glamorous. Those women are all pretty, on the cover of Us Weekly and get all kinds of free stuff.

      I worry that young girls who don’t have proper guidance or support will see that show and think it’s a great way to get attention.

      CRAP! I’m TOTALLY my mom!

  2. It is good to know at least one of them has standards. How dare she try to scheme money!
    Sarah Schultz just rambled about…Co-hosting The CollectiveMy Profile

    • I know! At least James Deen has morals and standards and said “I will get paid for sex when I’m videotaped by producers, but I will NOT get paid to go out in public with someone.”

      At least the guy has principles…and probably crabs. 🙂

  3. I have a passing knowledge of this show, which is to say that I’ve seen it on People, and as you say, it kind of glamorizes teen pregnancy, which none of us need. Having said that, the phrase “accidentally made a sex tape” got he here. Just sayin’.
    Melissa@Home on Deranged just rambled about…How face painting freaked out my toddlerMy Profile

  4. JU SO FONII!! And if Farrah thinks she’s fooling anyone she’s even funnier! Here from the Monday Mingle; BB2U.
    Bohemian Babushka (@BBabushka) just rambled about…Hispanicize 2013- ESO!!! Swag & SongMy Profile

    • Ha! I’m glad you enjoyed this post, and I will just pretend Farrah isn’t giving me a run for my money in the humor department.

      The fake boob department? She’s the clear winner.
      Questionable morals? Hands down she wins.

      Can you believe she actually tried to say it was for “personal use?” Did she think we’d believe that? Clearly she did.

      At least she gave me an easy topic for a blog post. I suspect that’s not the first time she’s been called easy. 🙂

      Thanks for reading and commenting and visiting! 🙂

  5. I hate when women don’t embrace their sluttiness. This is a serious pet peeve…so she wants to do a sex tape and get rich right? She’s having sex anyways, doesn’t care if the world sees, might as well get paid. Honestly, it doesn’t offend me. What makes me mad is that she wants to make herself look like the victim…act like she’s an innocent little virgin.
    I wish women would quit apologizing for doing what men would brag about. I’m not endorsing porn..I’m just saying own your choices and if you can’t defend your choices…then make different ones.
    Amy mayen just rambled about…Lucinda Skirt PatternMy Profile

    • I COMPLETELY AGREE! If you want to be a hoe-bag, own it. It’s why I never had a problem with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilerra, but I couldn’t stand Jessica Simpson. At least Britney and Christina were honest about hoeing it up. I respect that honesty. Go get it!

      It’s the act of purity and acting like a prude when we all know that isn’t really what’s going on that gets me. Just like with Jessica Simpson: Um, you waited until marriage and then it failed, and you made such a big deal out of waiting for marriage and how virtuous you were.

      Guess what? You got divorced and slutted it up. That’s fine and good, but don’t still try to go back to the virgin image. It’s offensive to the rest of us who know better.

      And I’m with you on the p0rn stuff too. I have NO problem with this James Deen guy. He is who he is and admits it. He doesn’t have a problem saying what he does for a living. He owns it. Good for him.

      And as I was telling my secretary this morning, he was actually pretty brilliant with this whole thing, as he can use it as a marketing tool for himself. After all, he got on The Today Show for it.

      At least he’s owning it and working it! I can support that. 🙂

      You’re obviously a genius.

  6. Hilari0us! I watched the first season, which was filmed before they were stars and weren’t really struggling. I thought it was a pretty real portrayal, but after that it just became a drama filled fake glam making show. It probably prepped her well for her adult film adventure!
    Anita@ Losing Austin just rambled about…Sorry. We can’t be friends.My Profile

    • Everyone I’ve talked to that’s watched the show says they hated her. It sounds like maybe the intention of the show may have been legitimate, but the attention and glamour of it all is NOT good for young women who are looking for attention, and who see this as an option.

      I SOUND SO OLD!

      And you know she’s going to make it big in Hollywood, right? After all, she’s soooooo talented. 😉

  7. every time i see anything about her, i just shake my head. girl, is MESSED up. also, it’s it weird that i find james deen hot? i mean… he totally is.

    • I don’t think it’s strange that you find James Deen hot! I was actually thinking the same thing but didn’t want to admit it. Thanks for giving me the courage to come out and say it.

      I think part of it is also because he’s a “bad boy” but has that sweet, innocent-looking face.

  8. I almost couldn’t keep reading after the Cinnabon reference. I want one so bad now! I admit I have watched Teen Mom and this chick is my least favorite- she is so mean to her mom! Silly, silly girl.
    Kate just rambled about…Zip my lipsMy Profile

  9. I mean, when you really think about it, this is the only logical thing a gal in her position(s) could do… I mean… getting areal job is hard… Not to mention, she has to maintain her image of being a fantastic role model… This was obviously the smartest move on her part.
    Emelie just rambled about…Yes. All of This Did Actually Happen.My Profile

    • You’re right. She was really in a trick bag and this was her only exit (not to be confused with “exit only.”)

      What a fine role model for her young daughter. I mean, she’s teaching her how to be an entrepreneur….

  10. I don’t understand…maybe I am just SLOW….If you make a sex tape, people will see it…
    TAM just rambled about…Texting Tuesday: a glimpse into our randomnessMy Profile

    • Didn’t you see Tam? She said she made it for her own personal use? You know, like just for a fun, rainy afternoon viewing. I mean, why would she ever think anyone would see it? Duh. It was obviously done for herself only. 🙂

  11. Thanks for participating @ “Showin’ Some LOVE Hump Day blog hop! See you next week! 🙂 http://modernhippiemomma.blogspot.com/2013/04/showin-some-love-hump-day-blog-hop-2.html

    <3 Amanda*

  12. I admit I was hooked on these teen moms…what can I say I’m into train wrecks. I watched her on Dr. Phil; she irks me so because she’s in her own little world thinking she’s pulling the wool over our eyes! I even had it on my site!

  13. Hi there, I’m visiting from the link up party! I’m a new follower via Bloglovin.

    I just saw this story on US Weekly…is she THAT desperate for attention????? So pathetic.
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  14. Thank you for joining us at our Let’s Get Social Sunday ! Hope to see you again this Sunday 🙂
    Linda@With A Blast just rambled about…Sausage PaellaMy Profile

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