Today I’m too lazy to write my own post. I’ve eaten far too many cookies and feel too lethargic to even think about typing an entire paragraph. (Yeah, like I use paragraphs on this blog. Pft!)
So instead of laying off the cookies, I peer pressured my friend Sarah at The Sadder But Wiser Girl to write a post for me. Okay, so it wasn’t so much peer pressure as it was a strong suggestion.
Okay, okay, I threatened to give her phone number to every telemarketer who called me if she didn’t do this. Whatever. Let’s not split hairs.
So, because The Sadder But Wiser Girl is a caring person, and because she doesn’t like getting unsolicited calls, here is her post below.
Before you read it, allow me to tell you a little bit about her. (I totally swiped this from the bio on her webpage but don’t tell her….there’s all those pesky copyright issues and I think she may be mad at me because I gave the telemarketers her number anyway.)
The Sadder But Wiser Girl does not live in a pineapple under the sea. But she does live in the land of corn and wind turbines. You can find her mindless ramblings on http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com . Sometimes funny, always disorganized, this mama of two actually does follow proper etiquette and ALWAYS at least wears pants to go grocery shopping.
Love her. Follow her. Visit her page regularly. (Just don’t add her to any solicitation lists…she’s not a fan.)
Rules? Where we’re going we don’t need RULES!
Hmmmm… they must be coming to our time period.
Not too long ago I made an emergency trip to the store for cheese. Cheese is a very important commodity in my house. It is so vital and precious to our family that you’d think if the baby Jesus was born in a nearby manger that my family would bring a gift of a block of cheese. That is if they would actually share it. Forget that I said that. Sorry baby Jesus, no cheese for you.
Annnnnyway, I walked in and glanced at the sign on the door. I doubled back to make sure I read it correctly. It said “We encourage you to wear shirts and shoes in our establishment.”
First of all, the fact I even noticed the sign is incredible in itself. Bravo to me.
Second of all, WTH? Whatever happened to “No shirts, no shoes, no service?”
So basically, it was a strong suggestion but not a requirement that clothes were worn in the store? If someone walked in wearing only underwear, that person would get nothing more than a rude stare from the clerk?
Oh I bet they are headed for Fareway!
(Disclaimer: I am not making fun of unemployed, poor, or naked people. If you are an unemployed poor naked person, I strongly suggest you quit reading this and get off the internet now.)
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO OUR SOCIETY?
I recently worked as a substitute teacher in an early childhood classroom. One of the rules required parents to wash their children’s hands prior to arrival. We all know what giant petri dish childcare centers can be. Since there was limited access to sinks at the school, hand-washing at home wasn’t an unreasonable request; especially during flu season. It was not only a well-known rule, it was printed on signs at various locations in the facility.
Yet there were parents that outright refused to do it.
What?! Oh my goodness, I’m sorry your kid is going to be either 1) puking by the end of the week or 2) a carrier of something that causes everyone to be puking by the end of the week. Whose fault is that? YOURS.
That poor turtle!
There are some signs that I just can’t believe need to be there, like the sign above. That poor turtle. Were people actually standing on him (or her, I won’t be sexist) or is it a preemptive strike? Are people really that dumb, or are they just that disrespectful?
I shop at Goodwill frequently, and there’s a sign prominently displayed in the toy area that says “Please do not leave children unattended.” Yet every time I’m in there, I see at least two children back there with no parents in sight. I’d love to see them change it to “Unattended children will be sold.” Somehow I doubt it would make a difference, but I would LOVE to see a Goodwill worker come walking out with a price sticker and just start sticking $0.99 stickers on all unattended children!
It’s just like when I go to the movies. The signs forbidding cell phones are everywhere. Most everyone is in the theater when the popcorn comes dancing across the screen and the sign pops up reminding everyone to turn off their phones. YET there are still a sea of phones texting and browsing the internets during the show. And then there’s that one person who has to have a loud conversation regardless of those nearby; “OMG I’m like TOTALLY at the movie and we are like totally like NOT making out and…”
I have kids. I’m lucky to get to the movie once or twice a year. I WANT TO WATCH THE MOVIE!!!
I’m thinking about some of the signs we’re going to start seeing eventually:
“We strongly suggest you wipe your butt after pooping.”
“Please do not lick the produce.”
And my personal favorite:
“Please refrain from sleeping while driving.” I know I’ve seen it done. Many times.
I hope you enjoyed my little rant… I don’t get ranty too often, so I hope my husband is proud of this.
Dammit I’m gonna break that door DOWN if it don’t open ‘cuz I’m gonna ENTER!