photo (15)

I wasn’t a nerd in high school…or at least I don’t think I was.  Come to think of it, I have no idea what I was in high school.  One thing I know I was for sure in high school was fabulous, because…come on.  Duh.

Either way, I don’t think of myself as the super nerdy type, although I’m sure my AP schedule of classes in high school probably painted a different picture, as did the sweet mini van I drove.

I lovingly named that van Sniper.  He didn’t have cup holders or a working radio, but I loved him nonetheless, even when his window got stuck rolled down in the dead of winter.  Wait…I totally was a nerd.

Regardless of my nerd status in high school, I’ve come to the realization that I’m a total nerd now.  Yeah, I know, you’re shocked because I come off as so totally cool and awesome and you just can’t believe I’m a pocket protector, suspender wearing nerd.  (Obviously I think all nerds look exactly like Steve Urkel from Family Matters.)

Why am I a nerd?  I’m sure there are a variety of reasons, but the one I will admit to today is that I’ve been reading classic novels recently…on purpose…without being required to…for fun.

Yes, for fun.  I know.  Next I will be doing multiplication problems for the hell of it and reciting poetry for my Friday evening fun time.  (Don’t worry, vodka will still be involved.  There are some things about me that will never change.)

I’m not sure what prompted my desire to read classic novels.  I’ve always been a reader and don’t usually discriminate against many genres of books, although I refuse to read romance novels.

It’s not so much that I refuse to read them because they are poorly written and the story lines are pathetic, but more so because I wouldn’t be caught dead reading a book with a photo of Fabio on the cover.  (Wil Wheaton? Yes.  Fabio?  No.  A girl has standards.)

Whatever the reason, I’ve been inspired to start reading classic novels.  Okay, so maybe it’s not super nerdy, but I think it borderlines on “eats her own boogers” and “always smells like cheese” kind of nerdy.  (And by the way, one of those descriptions actually applies to me.)

I guess it’s not so much the reading of the classic novels that’s nerdy, it’s the second part of this activity that ensures my nerd status.  I actually go to Spark Notes on line and read the summaries to make sure I’m understanding all the themes of the book, the writer’s intentions, etc.

I KNOW!  I want to give myself a wedgie, throw my head in the toilet and flush myself away.

Seriously, what is wrong with me?  How sad is it that I want nothing more on a Friday night than to curl up with a classic novel, read a few chapters, and then look up the Spark Notes on line to make sure I caught each element of foreshadowing?

It’s not only sad, it’s embarrassing.  I’ve lost it.  I’ve lost my cool status.  I need to hang up my pom pons (yes, that’s really how you spell them), turn in my “Most Outgoing” award and resolve myself to the reality that I’m a big fat nerd.  (Literally, I’m big…I’m fat…and I’m a nerd.)

But come to think of it, I don’t really think being a nerd is half bad.  Aside from the influx of acne, the braces and the video game obsessions, nerds end up winning in the end most of the time.  Let’s face it, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were most definitely nerds and look at where it got them.

If being a nerd gets me to a bank account half the size of either of those dorks, I will go buy the glasses with the white tape around the nose right now.  Well maybe I won’t, I need to get back to The Secret Garden