guy with video cameraTo make my blogs appealing (and readable), I add pictures to each post.  Partially to break it up, and partially because I know some of you only like stories with pictures and hey, I’m a people pleaser.

I get most of my photos from copyright free sites, but sometimes the results are quite strange.

For instance, the other night I typed in “attractive” into Google Images.  It might not necessarily have been a search for my blog…

A picture of a hideous red-headed boy in a seductive pose was one of the results.

This got me thinking.  What if I randomly type a word into Google Image, see what image comes up, and then blog about it?  I shall call it Google Image Roulette. Here it goes.

I wasn’t sure what word to use for my first time with this idea, so I decided to go with something basic.

I typed in the word “man” and this is the first photo that came up in the results.

I’m not kidding.  This is really what showed up.


How is this a picture of a man? A creepy photo shopped picture of a guy who has never had intercourse with a woman? Yes.  A photo of a man?  No.

This photo will haunt my nightmares. After seeing this I won’t ever be able to listen to an inspirational guitar solo from Slash without stifling vomit.  This is a tragedy, as he really rocks it out in “November Rain”.

I suspected I would get a photo of a creepy guy doing a strange pose, not a naked man with a guitar coming out of his ass.

boy in dormAnd where is this “man?”  I’m hoping he’s in a college dorm room because that’s the only place those particle board shelves are acceptable

Is that a small tree on the table next to the TV?  Is it a Christmas tree?  At least we know this “man” is festive.

And can we address the elephant in the room?  Or rather, the lack of elephant?

Where is his wiener?  (Hee hee.  Wiener).

Seriously.  If this is a man, I don’t see the very essence of what makes him male.  Not that I’m looking for that.  After all, I saw the photo on line of Daniel Radcliff naked with a horse and it still haunts me.

I don’t want to see this guy’s junk, but it’s noticeably lacking.  If he didn’t want to show it for the picture, couldn’t he wear shorts?  His woman maidof display makes me think of that scene in Silence of the Lambs.

You know what I’m talking about.  Now go vomit because that scene was disgusting.

Would it have been too much to ask for this guy to vacuum before taking a photo?  I’m not sure if those are bugs on the floor or old gum. Either way, homeboy should run a Roomba before posting a picture to the internet.

Is that a crutch laying on the bed?!  I’m pretty sure it is.  The fact that this guy has crutches blows my mind, as this “man” has no legs.

The fact that he only has ONE crutch laying on the bed just shows he has no logic or attention to detail (or a full set of crutches).

I would normally tell him to “sack up” and pay closer attention to the background, but as we discussed previously, his “sack” is noticeably missing, which makes the white stain on the side of the comforter that much more confusing.

bottlesCouldn’t he invest in a dust ruffle?  He’s clearly made of money as he purchased that sweet keyboard, so why not throw another $10 at Walmart for a dust ruffle to hide the dirty carpet?

This guy has no class (or legs).

I’m also curious as to what mystery drink is contained in the green plastic cup sitting near the TV circa 1982.  Normally I would say it’s  Kool Aid, as this guy looks like someone who would have a sugar addiction (and a serious porn addiction as well).

I’m hoping it’s filled with liquor.  Pure liquor.  That’s the only way I can tell myself this event took place.

Okay, I will now drench my eyes in bleach, as it is the only way to remove this creepy photo from my memory.  I can’t believe this was the FIRST photo that came up when I typed in the word “man.”

It makes me wonder what goes on over there at Google Image, although clearly those guys can take a joke, which makes me love Google all the more.

Stand by for more Google Image Roulette.  Please feel free to suggest a word to use, although I’d like to keep the words clean, as I don’t want to contract an internet virus while obtaining material for my blog.

I’m a sucker for computer hygiene.